Friday, August 7, 2015

What's the Frequency Kenneth?

Today VEDA wanted to know about the stories behind my online usernames. Just about everything I had to say about that is in the video. As such, I haven't got a lot to add here. I'm sorry.


I would love to regale you with some interesting tidbit about identity, but I am too tired. I have had terrible insomnia all week and today I more or less crashed and burned. On the bright side, I did get some housework done and I worked on the blog's archives. I finally figured out how to have most of my content up and still have this space serve as a portfolio of my best writing. I.R. Genius.

Since I am feeling lame, here's something to keep you all interested that has nothing to do with VEDA or me at all.

What's the Frequency Kenneth? (Part 1)

The first time I heard about Kenneth Anger was from my friend Angelica's dad. This was even before I decided to get cheeky and write a 17 page opus to John Waters for my 11th grade English class. For those of you who are unaware, Kenneth Anger was a rather subversive character in the mid-twentieth century pop culture landscape. He was famous for writing a book called Hollywood Babylon which recounted all of Hollywood's dirty little secrets from 1900 to 1950. 

Naturally, I assumed that R.E.M.'s song "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" was about Kenneth Anger. Why wouldn't it be? Michael Stipe is a pretty interesting guy. Surely he had read Hollywood Babylon, or perhaps he was even familiar with some of Anger's films. 

Kenneth Anger is not important to this story.

When Joey called and told me that his roommate had finally shown up after an entire semester of being AWOL, I was suspicious. 

"You mean to tell me that this guy has been paying for housing for an entire semester and yet he never moved in? Where's he been?"

Turns out, he'd been in jail. Seems to me that if a person had just spent time in prison, maybe they shouldn't be granted dual occupancy campus housing. But what do I know? Maybe it's a discrimination concern. People can reform. Everyone has the right to pursue an education. 

Joey had gotten used to having the room to himself, but he is an easy going sort of guy, so he did his best to make the best of it. 

But then he noticed Kenneth, for that was the roommate's name, talking to his alarm clock radio. He would take the thing with him everywhere, cradling it the crook of his arm as if it were a poodle. He even took it into the shower. All the while, talking to it, in hushed and frantic tones.

At this point, I christened the roommate "What's the Frequency Kenneth."

Joey didn't get the reference, so I explained about Kenneth Anger. It seemed fitting, because the song talks about benzedrine and you get the impression that Kenneth isn't - well - he isn't on the same frequency as the rest of us. Joey thought the name was appropriate because the roommate's last name was Zorn, which is German for anger. 

Trust me, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Anyway, things got stranger and stranger with the roommate. He would corner Joey and have these strange conversations. Things that a crazy person would say. Joey became convinced that he was living with a schizophrenic. Then, one day I got a phone call from Joey.

"Joyce, Kenneth is completely insane. He's burning money."

"Well, Joey, I do that sometimes."

"You burn money?"

"Yeah, I mean, just last week I dropped about $70 at the record store."

"No. He just lit a $20 bill on fire."

"Hu-WHAT?"

"In our room."

"Well that's against housing policy."

"I know. Not the major concern here at the moment."

"Well, isn't he rich? Maybe $20 just doesn't mean that much to him."

It was at this point that Joseph set about trying to find another living situation. Ultimately he wound up moving in with a friend off campus. He didn't see Kenneth around much after that, and he faded from our minds. 

The next time we saw him was on the news.

Sorry, Dear Friends and Gentle Readers, but this is all you get for now. 
Tune in next week for the continuing saga of What's the Frequency Kenneth?

No comments:

Post a Comment