The Perks of Having a Magical Flying Car

Today's VEDA video answers the question: "If you could pick one fictional vehicle as your new means of transportation, what would it be?"

Of course I want a magical flying car. Presumably, it goes of it's own volition, and I could travel on the cheap. I love to travel and at the moment I am bereft that I have neither the ways nor means to hop a flight to the either NYC or Europe before the end of the year. 

You see, Dear Friends and Gentle Readers, Duran Duran's new album drops on September 11 which means that they are currently doing a promotional tour. I just heard their newest single "Paper Gods" today, and I am frothing at the bit to see them again. But, I am poor and Duran Duran tickets, plus travel, plus the passport (because I don't have one) is absolutely out of my price range.

The magical car would solve most, if not all of these issues. 

Firstly, I could wait until they are in NYC, thus negating the need for the passport. I could also drag Mojo Jojo along with me and thus exponentially increase the joy of the experience. Fun is more fun when having said fun with your favorite human. 

As to the money issue, the flying car would allow me to finally embark on the life of crime I've always dreamed of. It's the perfect get-away car. I would be stalking the lawns of homeowners each night, digging up their Sago Palms in order to sell them back to the poor schmucks in the morning. Best. Crime. Ever.

Original Gangster.

Given that traditional employment doesn't seem to be in that cards for me, it's either crime or making something of my writing career. I am pleased to report that last night I was able to finish revising an essay that I submitted this morning to The Southern Writers Symposium. Sadly, I can't seem to find anything that I find worth to submit for the fiction or the poetry contest. Therefore, I have no shot at the $400 prize offered for each. Why is their no non-fiction contest, I ask you?

I am still really excited about the idea of reading my essay at the symposium though. It's not about hte money. It's about the credit. I am the literary Stanley Motss. Meanwhile, some money would help matters. Duran Duran related matters. It's interesting to note that the new single is about the hollowness of money and  fame. And it is awesome. That said, I don't see them giving away any concert tickets, so I have no other choice than to bow to the Paper Gods.

Meanwhile, here's a little snippet of the essay I submitted. I feel very strongly about the piece, and I hope the judging committee feels the same way. I want the credit.

Excerpt from "Eleanor"

By the time the ambulance arrived, the yard was chaos. When you call 911, you get cops, paramedics, first responders, and firefighters. They all bring their own service vehicles. A rainbow of flashing lights littered the scene as I watched. It was like a silent movie. A tableaux projected onto the silver screen of the afternoon sky, her naked body the only bit of black and white in this colorized presentation. Like Alla Nazimova in Salome the stretcher was a liter carrying her to her chariot, her jet black hair the only bit of darkness on her pale grey body.