Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Krispy Kreme, Shepherd's Pie, and Duran Duran

Despite the fact that I am overtired today is shaping up to be a pretty good day and so I thought I would pop by and tell you all about it. But first I suppose I should tell you why I'm tired. I swear, I came by it honestly!

Yesterday I got up at 4 AM with the intention of working out. That did not come to pass, but thankfully I now have an idiot proof plan for making my morning workouts happen. I will elaborate more on that later.

After I dropped That Sprout off at school I went to Krispy Kreme for a latte because I was already dragging. There were all sorts of fun Halloween donuts on display and I so I asked the young man behind the counter what kind of fillings they had. He looked at me like I was dumb and said "Uh, creme." Embarrassed, I replied, "Oh. I'm sorry . . . I asked." I ordered my latte and a pumpkin spice donut while trying to tell myself that maybe the kid was just socially awkward and I shouldn't take it to heart. I paid my bill and was already over it when he came over with a full dozen donuts. He slid them across the counter to me and made the internationally recognized "Shhh, don't tell," gesture. I was so confused. Was this because he was kind of a jerk to me to begin with? Was he flirting? What was the deal? He walked away to finish making my coffee and when he came back I asked "Are you sure?" He said "Yes. They're getting cold and no one wants them when they're cold." Well, okay then. Seems strange, but who am I to turn down free donuts? I thanked him, took my swag, and left.

But I didn't need a dozen donuts. I didn't need the one I bought. What was I going to do? I ate my pumpkin spice donut while I drove. I could take them to That Sprout's school, but that would cause a riot. I could take them to my friend Debbie, since I was going to an appointment next to her office anyway. But there's never any way to know if Debbie is in the office. I could keep them, but we didn't need them. I tried one of the Dozen, just to make sure they weren't bad or something. They were fine. Still warm even. Then it hit me! I could give them to one of Fayetteville's many homeless people! They would surely appreciate it and the donuts wouldn't be wasted.

I set out for the WalMart where many of the local homeless people congregate. As I approached I couldn't believe my luck. There was a man on the corner with what looked to be a sign. I pulled in and rolled down the window. He stuck a DVD through it and said something about God. I said thanks and offered him my donuts. He declined them. I explained that I was trying to give them to a homeless person. "I'm not homeless!" he said. Oops. Apparently he was there protesting the Planned Parenthood across the street. I apologized for my mistake and asked him if he knew where any of the usual homeless people might be. He said that he did. So, I gave him the donuts and instructed him to share them with someone who was hungry. Hopefully, he did so. Although, now that I think about it I probably gave donuts to a bunch of anti-abortion protesters. Either way, I saved myself from eating a million calories worth of Krispy Kreme so, Mission accomplished!

The afternoon consisted of a haircut for That Sprout and grocery shopping, after which I was supposed to make a Shepherd's pie for today. I started cutting up the carrots at about 4 PM. I finished putting the thing together at 10PM. Meanwhile, I used every dish I own - at least that's what it feels like. Why did it take so long? Well, first of all, I don't have a paring knife anymore. It was lost in the move so I was trying to dice carrots with a bread knife. That was quite a feat. Secondly, I only have one large mixing bowl and I was making a triple sized recipe. This was foolish idea as I kept having to switch my meat back and forth between the big bowl and two smaller bowls so that I could use the big bowl for the potatoes as well.

Meanwhile, I thought I could rice cooked frozen cauliflower (which I added to the potatoes). Protip: You cannot rice cooked frozen cauliflower. I thought I could boil the potatoes whole and unpeeled. This sort of worked, but only one and a half of them got done. I have to microwave the other one. I was also making dinner for j^C and That Sprout during this time. And I realized midway though cutting up the carrots that my nails were too long, so I took a break to cut them. And file them. And buff them.

Then there was the debacle of flavoring the meat. I was making this culinary masterpiece out of ground turkey which I drained of all fat and flavor. "No matter" I thought. "I'll just add Worcestershire Sauce to it. It'll be fine." What I didn't realize was that it was going to take the ENTIRE BOTTLE of Worcestershire Sauce. And of course I couldn't just mix the sauce in with a spoon. Oh no. That would have been too easy. I had to massage the sauce into the cooked meat with my hands. This was fine and all, but it was just one more step in the seemingly never ending process of making this damn Shepherd's Pie.

By the time I finished, I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open. That is, until I tried to close my eyes to sleep. Ha ha! There's the rub! I was suddenly wide awake! I wound up fooling around on my phone until nearly midnight, only to be woken up by That Sprout shortly after 1. And then I got up at 5 AM this morning because that's what time I normally get up.

So, that's why I'm tired.

But! During the night I visited with Simon LeBon and Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran and it was glorious.  I was at Simon's house for a party. I think it was his birthday party. For reasons that only make sense in a dream there was a museum gift shop in the basement of his house where I bought a shirt to wear to the party. When I got upstairs I sat with Nick who was very sweet, but he was less than impressed with my shirt. He said I shouldn't wear it anywhere else as it would be gauche. I wasn't hurt by this - I was thankful for his fashion advice. We had a really nice conversation while we were waiting for Simon to arrive. I got to see Simon for a moment, and then the dream was over. I needed a Nick Rhodes dream.

Later on in the morning I made a new Pandora station for SWANS - and wouldn't you know, it plays Joy Division, Bauhaus, and The Cure. I am pretty stoked about this. And I had a pumpkin muffin from Target that was exquisite. It had cinnamon sugar covered pumpkin seeds on the top and everything. Mmm, mmm. The bottle of Vanilla Frappucino on the other hand . . . left something to be desired. I like my coffee to taste like coffee, but this morning I was so tired that I couldn't afford to be picky.

But still, because of the dream and the muffin I am in light spirits this morning. Life is good. This afternoon I am going to have lunch at the Haymont Grill, carve a pumpkin, and go to the gym. Exciting stuff.

In other news, I have 30 whole followers on Twitter now! I am working with Schan Ellis to build my editing business through social media and I think that the magic bullet for getting my followers is #amwriting. I added this to a few tweets this morning and wound up with 8 new followers. Something is working anyway. I think I might be getting the hang of this social media thing.

I'll be back tomorrow with a more focused update. I'm going to lunch now. :-D

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