Friday Free For All: When Did I Forget How To Read?

Image from http://rattytime.wordpress.com/2010/04/21/bookworm/

In the film Quills, Joaquin Phoenix quips at Geoffrey Rush "The writer who produces more than he reads - A sure mark of an amateur." 

That line pains me because it's so true. I myself do not read nearly as much as an aspiring author should, but that's because it vexes me so. There was a time when I ferociously devoured books - sometimes an entire novel in a single afternoon. Then, I got a life.  

Reading, for all its virtues, is a solitary act, and I have come to crave the society of others. The more time you spend with others, the less time you spend in quiet contemplation with the written word. 

This extends to social networking. Try reading a book while IMing or Facebooking. Let me know how that works out. I damn sure can't do it. 

When I was a tot, I could read a book and watch TV and carry on a conversation simultaneously and both retain and comprehend all information I came in contact with. I was a professional multi-tasker. Maybe this is a gift wasted on youth, I don't know. 

Or, more likely, this is a case of "if you don't use it, you lose it". I have averaged reading maybe 5 books a year since graduating high school. This is not good, especially for a lit major. For shame, for shame.  

Why don't I read more? 

I'm no good at it anymore. I can't read a whole book in an afternoon and it pisses me off. I get frustrated and therefore choose to waste my time at less than scholarly pursuits. It’s my dirty little secret. I'm a great faker though. I’m good at skimming the Cliff notes of things I should have read. Not many people know how very little I read nowadays. 

I'm supposed to be a writer. That implies that I am also a reader, and I'm not. I’ve promised myself countless times that I will read an average of one book a week. That's worked out so well for me thus far. I have a mountain of books that I want to read, and another mountain of books that I should have read already. The "want to reads" combined with the "should have already reads" makes for an Everest sized pile of information that frankly scares me.  

Thankfully, someone gave me the inspiration to start my journey to the top of the mountain. I have a friend from college - we shall call her, as she calls herself - "Captain Tesla". She is one of the smartest people I have ever had the pleasure to know. Having majored in Physics, she is now working on her M.A. in computer science while teaching undergrad classes and doing all manner of other interesting graduate student things. She minored in Philosophy, she plays music, she draws, she watches interesting movies, reads interesting books, and listens to the same kinds of music I do. She is one of my top five favorite people ever. Sometimes I wonder how she has time to do all the things she does, but the answer to that is simple: she's a muthafuckin' riot at time management. Me - not so much, but I'm working on it.  

Anyway, she gave me a book for Christmas. This book, JohnDies at the End was made into a movie that will soon be in theaters. Movies, as we all know, are one of my top five favorite things, ever, so I'm pretty psyched to go it. 

Trouble is, I don't want this to turn into another Watchmen situation. "Yes j^C, I'll read the graphic novel before we go to see the movie." I got halfway through before I got disgusted with the rate of my progress and figured I'd find out what happened when I saw the movie. To this day, I have still not finished reading Watchmen. 

I also quit reading the Harry Potter series halfway through the fifth book. (I couldn't deal with Emo Harry anymore. I kind of wanted to puke.) I hear your collective groans. I know. I’m scum. On the bright side, the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the Fourth, so I still don't really know what happens. 

Please don't shoot me.
  

Right now, I am 118 pages into John Dies at the End. I must finish it before the movie comes out or j^C will never let me hear the end of it. I am hoping to have it finished by the time Captain Tesla writes me another letter, so I can tell her how much I liked it. It's getting kind of embarrassing - every time we communicate she asks me how I'm liking it, and I really only started reading it in earnest yesterday. I am a disgrace. An utter disgrace. 

However, since I've made this much progress, I am hopeful that over the weekend I can finish it and move on to another book in the mountain. “The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step”, they say. Likewise, the only way I am going to scale the mountain of FAIL that is my pile of books is to start reading them - one at a time. I know that the more I read, the faster I will get and that eventually I will be restored to my former prowess. 

I'm like Veruca Salt though. I want it now. I am no good at working for things - I want instant results. This is why weight loss/writing/house cleaning/cooking/a million other things I'm no good at/ cause me so much grief. If I can't make it happen now, I let it go. This is never a good approach. So, what's a girl to do? 

I'm going to finish the book and go from there.