NaNoWriMo: Day 9

Stella had spent her four years at college looking like she was over Buckley while inside she still burned for him. None of her friends in Pensacola knew anything about him – they wouldn’t understand if she had tried to tell them anyway. He was so far removed from their realities. He was so far removed from her reality now, as well it seemed. She couldn’t imagine him here in this place among the books and the bicycles pedaling between classes. He was much more at home, as was she in truth, in the swamps.

            When she had left the library with Paige and Lottie she’d made her way back to her SouthSide dorm room for a nap. She’d been staring at that pedagogy material for far too long and she needed a break. When she walked into her single occupancy dorm room she turned on her tv which was perpetually tuned to MTV and plopped onto the bed. The floor to ceiling window was opened to the courtyard and a pleasant spring breeze could be felt through it.

            She glanced at the tv. On it was the Smiths video for “How Soon is Now?”

            “Moz. Always Moz.” She said before closing her eyes.

            “What’s wrong with Moz?” said a voice from her window.

            “What?” she said as she nearly fell off the bed. She jumped up and saw that it was Brad, her neighbor from across the courtyard.

            “Brad, jeez. You scared me to death. Ever hear of knocking?”

            “Sorry. Just thought I’d ask if you wanted to grab a late lunch.”
            “No thanks. I just had something at the café. Thanks for the offer though.”

            “Don’t mention it.”

            “Say, Brad. I was wondering. What are you doing for spring break?”

            “I’m staying here. Why?”

            “Well, I was going to do the same thing but now I’m going to go on a trip with some friends and I feel a little bad that you’re going to be here all alone. You want to see if I can arrange for you to come with us?”

            “Where are you going?”

            “Some place in sort of near Jacksonville called Putnam County.”

            “Sure, why not. I’ll be better than sitting around here for a week.”

            Stella wasn’t sure why she liked Brad. She wasn’t in love with him. She wasn’t even in like with him. She just liked having him around in a brotherly sort of way. She had always wanted to have a brother and college dorm life had provided her with an opportunity for that experience she would have otherwise never had.

            Brad on the other hand felt very differently about Stella. He never said anything to her about it, but he was quite taken with her. He was one of those guys who was too shy to make a move so he just hung out and hoped the girl would make the move and then complained to all his friends that she kept him perpetually in the friend zone.

            But now she was inviting him to go on spring break with her. Maybe this would be his big chance, he thought.

            He said his goodbyes to Stella and made his way over to the commons to tell his friends about his good fortune. Meanwhile, Stella returned her attention to MTV and trying to get a nap. This was a pointless venture however, as she still couldn’t seem to get her mind off Buckley. He hadn’t haunted her this much since the days immediately following their breakup four years ago.

            Maybe it was because she knew that her graduation was imminent and with it adult life that she couldn’t get him out of her head. But she didn’t have time for this right now. She needed sleep. She needed to study her stupid education text books. She needed to graduate and get on with her life. She did not need to be seeing his big, sad brown eyes every time she closed her eyes.

            Clearly she still felt guilty about the way she had treated him. Maybe she should call him and explain. But that would only make things worse. No. She would leave Buckley alone no matter how much she wanted to go to him and explain everything. It was kinder to let him think that she didn’t love him anymore.