It
was suddenly the end of June and Stella and Buckley had settled into a
comfortable routine. While he was at work, she spent her days waiting to hear
back about one of the teaching jobs she had applied for and catching up on the
books she’d been unable to read while she was in college. At night she worked
the graveyard shift at Angel’s and Buckley made a point to check in on her
periodically throughout the night to make sure that she was safe.
Things had grown comfortable for
Stella and Buckley. They were not officially together, and Stella was still
feeling put off about physical contact, but she was very happy with the day to
day life she and Buckley shared. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to
take things to the next level though.
Buckley realized this and although
he didn’t say it, he was didn’t mind. He loved her fiercely and just having her
in his life was enough. He would never pressure her to do anything that she
didn’t want to do or that she wasn’t ready to do especially not after what had
happened.
Buckley’s job at Cypress Estates had
been downgraded to water moccasin management since the demolition of the second
gator, which was fine with him. It was far less frustrating when compared with
what he went through with the gator.
With the gator gone once and for
all, Rhodes and Selena were now focused on planning their wedding in earnest
with the date set for late October. Lenora’s wedding was set for June of the
following year – Rhodes wanted to give a wide berth. Somehow, despite
everything Lenora was still angry about his wedding being first. His wedding
was going to be simple and small compared to hers and he was not inviting any
of the same people. Selena just thought she wanted an excuse to be angry.
Selena was going round and round
with Miss Emery about everything, but that is the way of most mother and
daughter in laws. Such simple things as the flavor of the cake (spice) and the
color of the dress (ivory) were causing passive aggressive rows at every turn.
Selena wished that she had a mother who wanted to be involved in the process of
planning her wedding, but alas, she did not.
Instead, she had Noel, her best
friend who was skillfully adept and managing Miss Emery and her expectations.
Unlike Selena, Noel acted southern and Miss Emery liked her on that virtue
alone. Noel was able to tactfully advocate for Selena and Rhodes with Miss
Emery without causing anyone too much grief. She proved to be a lifesaver in
the wedding planning process.
Selena wondered if she and Noel
would still girl time once she was married to Rhodes. Noel had been her best
friend since high school and the thought of losing their time together was
daunting.
Miss Emery had gotten it in her mind
that as soon as Selena and Rhodes were married that Selena would quit her job
and start popping out babies. That was not really on Selena’s agenda. She
wasn’t sure when or if she wanted kids. She kept this feeling to herself
though. She knew that as a Shield she would be expected to produce a male heir.
That was an expectation she didn’t know if she wanted to have to live up to.
This was not feudal Europe. A girl could take over just as easily as a boy and
furthermore, Lenora’s children might want the farm, mightn’t they? Why should
she be expected to have the children?
She thought about Rhodes as a father
and cringed. She loved him dearly but he was entirely too selfish to be a good
father in her opinion. He would put his wants and needs before those of a child
in most cases. She didn’t think he would be withholding of affection, but he
would be emotionally unavailable. He would care more about his friends she
feared – staying drinking late nights. She was not interested in raising a slew
of kids all by herself. She wanted a partner in all things which in
childrearing she did not feel at all confident Rhodes would be.
Noel conversely had always wanted
kids. She would make a great mother with someone one day. She was a beautiful,
selfless soul. Selena was so unlike her. Noel was the kind of woman who took
care of business and did so gracefully. She had worked since she was 15 and her
work ethic was unparalleled. The only problem seemed to be that she had an
attraction for the kind of man that you wouldn’t really want to raise a kid
with. She had dated a string of men who were unmotivated and lazy preferring to
stagnate rather than grow. It was an epidemic in Putnam County. Sitting around
and smoking pot while thinking about what could have been was easier than
getting up and doing something about what could be. Noel was the only one who
was doing something about now.
Selena loved and respected her so
much. She wanted her to find a man who wasn’t shiftless. The kind of man that
one would be able to have a family with. She didn’t know if that kind of man
existed though. Here she was about to marry the most eligible bachelor in the
county and he wasn’t even the kind of man that you would want to have children
with. Where did one go to find a family man?
Church.
You went to church.
Which is exactly what Buckley and
Stella had been doing every Sunday since they had gotten back from Pensacola. Stella
felt like she needed it after what had happened although in truth she felt her
faith starting to waver. She had begun to ask that question that people always
ask when really bad things happen – why would a loving God let such a bad thing
happen to me? Buckley wondered the same thing – which is why he had a hard time
believing in this God at all. But still they went. It gave Stella a feeling of
consistency in her week and they both liked Father Donovan even if they were
skeptical about his God.
St. Mark’s Episcopal suddenly seemed
like the place where all the young people of the town were meeting despite
having one of the oldest congregations. Rhodes and Selena were now going on the
regular with Noel, as were Leland and Jerry, Buckley and Stella, and several
others besides. Father Donovan had recently done a fairly decent job of making
the ancient edifice a hip place to be on a Sunday morning for the 40 and under
crowd and the turnout proved it.
Miss Emery was pleased by all the
young faces in the pews as any matron of the church might be.
In early July Stella was offered a
job teaching kindergarten at Moseley Elementary School. She accepted the job
immediately because she needed the money, and she wanted the security that a
legit teaching job would bring. By this time she and Selena had rekindled their
friendship and there was talk of Stella renting Selena’s apartment when Stella
moved to Herlin Hall. While Stella was enjoying life in Buckley’s trailer, she
realized that she needed to at least try life on her own.
She had not yet told Buckley of her
plans.
Buckley had problems of his own to
contend with. His mother was desperately angling for him to come for a visit,
but he did not want to leave Stella alone in Putnam County.
“Well, why don’t I just go down
south with you?”
“What about your job?”
“We’ll go before school starts and
I’ll take a few days off from Angel’s. I’m sure they won’t mind. Especially if
we do it during the week. I can see my family and all.”
At the mention of her family Buckley
cringed, but her idea was better than leaving her here all alone. He didn’t
think anything bad would happen, but he was paranoid. He’d never forgive
himself if it did.
They left on a Monday and planned to
be back on a Friday. There would still be a full week before school started
when they got back. The trip down to the Everglades was largely uneventful –
just long. Stella offered to drive a part of the way, but Buckley wouldn’t let
her.
She thought this was unnecessary. If
they had been together she would have wanted to have been treated like a
partner and an equal instead of like a princess being chauffeured around.
Buckley didn’t want to let her drive
because Rhodes’ truck was finicky and he didn’t trust it. He was used to the
truck’s strange ways was mall.
When they got to town, Buckley
dropped her off at her family’s house and then drove to his mama’s house near
the Res. They agreed to meet at the mall at noon on Friday. Until then they
were on their own solo adventures.
When Stella arrived at the front
door of her family’s house they were overjoyed to see her. It had been almost 2
months since her graduation and as far as they knew she had been in an
intensive teacher training program.
They were full of questions about
the program and she had to think fast to provide the answers they sought.
Thankfully none of them had been to college, so they were easy to lie to.
Her sister was the only one to see through her
and when they were alone, she called her out.
“Why are you lying, Stella?”
Montgomery asked.
Stella’s eyes grew wide. “What are
you talking about?”
“You are lying to mom and dad. You
aren’t in some teacher training course. You already have your teacher
credentials from college. What are you really up to?”
Stella wanted so badly to be able to
tell her little sister everything, but she knew that she couldn’t trust her.
She took a deep breath and began,
“I just didn’t want to come back
down here after college. I visited Putnam County over spring break and fell in
love with it, so I’ve been staying with a friend while I looked for a job. I
finally found one a few weeks ago as a kindergarten teacher. That’s the truth.”
Montgomery raised an eyebrow. “Who’s
this friend?”
“Lottie, from school.”
Her sister seemed satisfied with
this answer, but then asked “Why not just tell mom and dad the truth then?”
“Well you know how they are. Their
feelings would be hurt.”
Montgomery nodded. “I guess you’re
right.”
Quickly wanting to change the
subject Stella asked “So, how’s my little nephew?”
“Oh, he’s great! He’s with his daddy
right now. That good for nothing –“
“Is he is school?”
“Who, Chester?”
“No, Jefferson.”
“Yeah, he goes to preschool so I can
work.”
“Oh! Where are you working now?”
“Dollar Tree.” She took a drag off of
a cigarette.
“Oh wow, that’s great.”
“Yeah, I’m up for assistant
manager.”
To say that Stella was resentful of
Montgomery would be a gross understatement. There was the fact that Montgomery
had been allowed to keep her child – a fact that gnawed at Stella every time
she was around Jefferson, so named after Jefferson Davis and dressed most often
in rebel flag regalia. Montgomery was not a good mother. She was not a very
good person for that matter. A harsh indictment to be sure, but the girl was
famous for making bad choices. Her child’s father, Chester was a useless
“reformed” drug dealer and she was a recovering addict herself. She wondered
how any of this was better than Buckley simply based on race.
“At least he was white.”
At least he was white.
Right.
At least Buckley hadn’t gone to
jail. At least Buckley hadn’t stolen from the family. At least Buckley hadn’t
beaten her. But whatever. He was a halfbreed so he and his offspring had to go.
Because that made so much sense.
Montgomery didn’t even finish high
school. She got pregnant in the 10th grade, long before Stella had,
and she dropped out. She let her mother raise Jefferson for much of his young
life, while she was in and out of drug rehab and a ridiculously high life with
Chester.
“But I Love him!” she had said of
Chester.
And everyone had had so much
sympathy for her. Where was their sympathy when Stella had said the same thing
about Buckley?
She was already so angry. She
wondered why she’d even come home. Would she be able to stand a whole week
around her family?
“So, have you got any boyfriends?”
Montgomery asked. Stella stiffened at this question. What was she to say? No, but I’ve been living with Buckley?
“I have a hard time dating now.”
Montgomery took another drag of her
cigarette, “Still hung up on you indian, huh?”
“Uh –“
“Look, I get it. He was gorgeous. I
don’t get why mama and daddy were so uptight about him.”
“I-“
“I bet they’d lose their damn minds
if they knew half the guys I’d screwed. Ha!”
“Wha-“
“If I was you I wouldn’t worry too
much about them. Oh, and listen, you know I seen your little girl around the
other day?”
“Whoa! Stop! How Do you know that?”
“Mama and Daddy know who adopted
her.”
“They what?”
“Yeah. It’s some people from
church.”
“It was supposed to be a closed
adoption!”
“Well, I don’t guess it was. I don’t
know. They told me anyway.”
Stella was blindsided. This meant
that she could see her daughter. Buckley could see their daughter. Maybe they
could even be in their daughter’s
life. It might be too much to hope for, but it was worth a shot, if only
Montgomery would help her.
She grabbed Montgomery by the
shoulders.
“Who is it? Who has Hope?”
“Hey! Calm down!”
“How do you expect me to be calm? We are talking about my daughter!”
“It’s Mr. and Mrs. Campbell! The older couple who always sit in the back!
“How do you expect me to be calm? We are talking about my daughter!”
“It’s Mr. and Mrs. Campbell! The older couple who always sit in the back!
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