3 Lies I Used to Believe About Writing

Every writer has their own ideas about how things should be done. The problem comes when you start trusting what other writers say about writing instead of your own intuition. The literary life is a lonely one and it's easy to begin thinking "I'm doing this all wrong." Most people don't understand or appreciate what you do, and those who do have an idea are telling you that their way is the best way. It's not. Your way is the best way. We would all do well to remember Polonius's words to Laertes:

You better know what this is from . . . Image 

I too have fallen prey to the feeling that I was doing something wrong. I am constantly striving to improve myself, which isn't a bad thing, necessarily but it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. If you're always trying to be better it means that you are never good enough. Here are 3 things that I used to believe about writing as a result of my ceaseless quest for improvement.

1. Real writers don't write lousy first drafts.

I think it's fairly easy to see how a person could come to believe this. Writers don't often see other writers' first drafts. Even if someone at critique says it's their first draft, it probably isn't. No one is going to share something that they had not yet first edited. We all check our work for spelling and grammar errors. (Or, at least we should.) Because of this compulsive need to polish our work we never see what everyone else's work looks like in that raw, fresh from the brain stage.

So, when we see our own work at that point we think we are terrible. We think we're deluding ourselves. We think that we aren't really writers. Don't believe that. You are a writer. I believe everyone is a writer. The difference between those of us who believe we are and those who believe they are not is the ability to read and revise our words with a critical eye. Anyone can do it, but most people don't.

2. Writers work alone.

It is true that writing is a solitary endeavor, but that does not mean that writers work alone. I have found that trying to sequester myself is the absolute worst thing I can do for my writing. We need human interaction. How else are we supposed to write believable human characters? Personally, I need people to bounce ideas off of.

I was never so happy or productive as when I was part of a writing group. We were 5 ladies meeting in the same place and the same time every week to discuss our writing. It was wonderful. I loved the accountability and the encouragement. It gave me something to work toward and to look forward to during the week. We were all very different people which was great because we all brought something unique and valuable to the table. We trusted one another to provide good and thorough critiques and it was amazing how much all our writing improved.

Sadly, I haven't found that sort of community since I moved to NC, but I still have hope. If you are not meeting with a critique group, you should really consider it. It will might be the best thing you ever did.

3. Writing isn't a real job.

Let's face it, unless your name is J.K. Rowling or something along those lines no one is going to take you seriously when you tell them you are a writer. "Yes, but what do you do?" they will ask, as though writing is some kind of hobby and surely you must have a real job. I do not have a "real job."

Writing is my real job. It is the thing that makes me feel like I am not just wasting my life while my husband and my child get to live theirs. Yes, I am a stay at home mom. That's not who I am. Yes, I am an Army wife. That's not who I am. Those are my relationships to other people, and while those relationships are very important they do not define me. My child will grow up and move away. My husband will retire, or leave, or die. I will still be a writer.

Just because I haven't yet begun to earn money from this occupation does not mean that it is not my job. Writing is what I do and I do it well. Much better than being a mom or a wife, if you ask me. Don't let people make you feel like what you do isn't worthy. Stories can change the world. That is the most worthy thing I can think of.