Fan Girl Friday: David Bowie

Yesterday David Bowie celebrated his 68th birthday.

David Bowie is 68 years old.

In celebration of this fact, I give you:

28 Things About My Love for David Bowie

1. I discovered David Bowie via Todd Haynes' film Velvet Goldmine. I would later learn that Bowie himself hated this film. 
2. I didn't see Labyrinth until I was a freshman in high school. It was one of the things my best friend, MojoJoJo and I bonded over when we first met.
3. My mom gave me the Sound + Vision box set for Christmas when I was in the ninth grade, along with the Labyrinth soundtrack. At this point my Bowie obsession was in full swing.
4. When I was in high school, I wanted "David Bowie Hair" so badly that I decided to do it myself. I didn't make it any further than a bob and there was no way my mom was going to let me bleach my hair, so it never really panned out.
5. While there are a great many fabulous Bowie songs, my favorite seems to be "Drive-In Saturday" although I couldn't really tell you why.
6. David Bowie is the only reason I can sort of "pass" as a sci-fi geek. His music sparked my interest in all things "space alien". 
7. I have taken many a fashion cue from Bowie. I love anything silver and shiny/glittery. In school I used craft glitter for eye-shadow.
8. Duran Duran led me to David Bowie and they both ultimately led to Lou Reed who was, is, and always will be my Rock&Roll Father Figure.
9. Without Bowie, there would be no Placebo and then what Captain Tesla and I have bonded over?
10. Similarly, without David Bowie, there would be no Duran Duran. So, essentially, without The Grand White Duke I would be a completely different person.
11. David Bowie's duet with Bing Crosby "Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It marries my tastes with those of my parents perfectly, which I can't help but imagine was the point in the first place.
12. The only reason I watched the film Absolute Beginners was because Bowie was in it. He wasn't exactly the star, but it was such a good book that I wound up reading the book it was based on.
13. Same story with Zoolander.
14. And The Hunger.
15. And The Prestige.
16. And Basquiat. I couldn't make it through that one though. It was too infuriating.
17. I once sang "Space Oddity" acappella in a talent show in front of an auditorium full of people wearing blue lipstick and a black patent leather jacket.
18. I used to wear blue and silver lipstick on the regular because "Glam Rock".
19. The best part of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack was David Bowie singing "Nature Boy".
20. I sing "Space Oddity" to That Sprout as a lullaby. 
21. The fact that he sang "Space Oddity" in space is the only reason I know who Colonel Chris Hadfield is.
22. Similarly, the only reason I care about the space program is because the world Bowie wrote about in his songs is that much closer to becoming a reality.
23. Without Bowie I probably wouldn't love Ray Bradbury as much as I do.
24. The first paper I wrote for college was on Velvet Goldmine and my teacher tried to tell me that was not also the name of a Bowie song. I then whipped out my copy of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars reissue and proved him wrong. It was a B-side. Todd Haynes ain't no slouch.
25. I get really excited about the fact that Moby waters David Bowie's plants when he's out of town.
26. I was also really excited to learn that the reason David Bowie's eyes are 2 different colors is because he was punched in the eye by his friend George Underwood. Since they are still friends it's fun to think "Maybe I'm related to a guy who knows David Bowie!"
27. I am super jealous of the fact that Mojo Jojo got to hang out with Bowie and Iman when he was modeling full time. SUPER. JEALOUS.
28. I met Shelley Lloyd randomly at the mall the day after I graduated high school. We were strangers, but we had David Bowie and glam rock in common. 10 years later, we're still pals.

Last Night: A Tragically Comic Story in 3 Parts

I just posted this on Facebook and I decided that it might be fun to post it here as well. It's writing related, in that I wrote it.

Last Night: A Comic Tragedy in 3 Parts

Part 1.

I went to sleep at 8 pm because I have begun to work out and watch what I'm eating again and it has totally wiped me out. Also, I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 4:45 am yesterday morning, so really, it was time for me to go to bed anyway.

At 2 am I woke up wide awake after 6 hours of the best sleep I have had in a long time to find Jake, my husband awake, on the couch, playing a game on his tablet. I decided that if I stayed awake at this hour I was going to wind up going to bed at 6 the next night and after a few days of this I would have effectively switched to a nocturnal existence and this would not be good for anyone. So, I went back to sleep.

At some point over the next hour and a half, Jake and the dogs came to bed.

At 3:30 am I was awoken by the plaintive whining of my dog, Molly-Gator. I got up to look at the time, used the bathroom, and told the dog that there was no way I was going to take her out at this hour and that she would just have to wait. Fat chance. The whining continued until I could no longer ignore it, so I grudgingly put on 2 hoodies and braved the 12 degree weather in order to be a good and responsible dog parent.

To begin with, the cold wasn't so bad. Then I made it out of the corridor and into the windy outside. Holy cow, it was cold. So cold. Surprisingly Cody, the dog who has IBS did not poop. He peed and Austin Powers caliber pee, and then scampered around in the cold because he is apparently part Samoyed.

Meanwhile, Molly-Gator, the whining creature who forced me out into the arctic blast in the first place took about ten minutes to find the perfect poop spot. She squatted and I thought "Yay! I can go back inside soon!"

Fat chance.

She continued to squat and strain for another cold, agonizing 5 minutes before she was finally finished with her business. And even then she didn't exactly make haste getting back inside. Of course, by that point I'm sure I didn't even care because I was certain I was going to freeze to death in the meantime.

Part 2. 

Naturally, after being out in the 12 degree, windy weather for the past 15 minutes, I was wide awake. I realized that I had not watched anything on television that I wanted to see in about a month, so I decided that this was the time. I turned on Netflix and searched for "Tusk" thinking that I wanted to watch something bizarre.

Wouldn't you know, that movie hasn't hit Netflix yet. I can't imagine why . . . I heard it was God awful and I'm sure Kevin Smith would get more money if he put in up on streaming. Inexplicably, my search for "Tusk" resulted in finding a movie called "The Taking of Deborah Logan" which happened to be a found footage demon possession movie. I love demon possession movies. I love exorcism movies MORE, but the possession is interesting too.

So, I started to watch.

 I had put the dogs in the bedroom when I got back upstairs and foolishly forgot to grab my blanket off the bed while I was in there. About 25% of the way through the movie I started to get cold. The temperature inside the apartment was 64 degrees and it was only that warm because I had talked Jake into finally turning on the heater in preparation for the 12 degree weather we were expected to have.

He grudgingly did so, setting it at 64. Lame.

I was really cold, but I was really interested in this movie, and for some reason, pausing the thing DID NOT seem like and option. I laid there, entranced and shivering, curled up on the couch for the rest of the movie.

This might not have been a bad thing, given the nature of the film. I wouldn't have wanted to get lulled into a false sense of security. There could be demon ghosts about trying to turn me into some kind of demon snake killer thing. Not good.

"The Taking of Deborah Logan" concerns a woman who has Alzheimer's in addition to her demon problems. I began thinking about how awful that end must be and what a great premise for a movie it is. I have seen Alzheimer's patients do very strange and scary things without the aid of a demon. The body horror element was very effective. I was sufficiently freaked out.

Finally, the film came to it's thrilling conclusion and I got up to get the blanket. By this time, it was 5 am and I was still awake. What I should have done was work on my blog or write some letters, or clean something, but I wanted to watch more TV and watch more TV I did.

I got under the blanket and started watching the IFC comedy mini-series "The Spoils of Babylon". What I saw of it was really funny, but I didn't see a whole lot because at some point I fell asleep.

Part 3. 

I was in a rehab/treatment facility for my pica which had gotten completely out of control. I was eating plastic, which had resulted in a bezoar. I had no idea that this was a problem. I just thought that I was constipated.

The turning point was when I ate Jake's sister's I-phone. Battery and all. This wasn't so distressing at first, but then I realized that digesting a cell phone battery probably wasn't a good thing and that I might explode or something. So, I decided that I needed help NOW.

The treatment facility was very swanky and reminiscent of the hotel in The Shining. My therapist was also the bartender and I could only discuss my pica with him while he was tending bar. This was very frustrating because I didn't want all the other people in the bar hearing about how I eat plastic. It was embarrassing.

At some point, Jake's parents showed up because they thought we were having a nice family vacation at some fancy resort. So, I'm trying to talk to the therapist about eating plastic while they are there while not letting anyone except the therapist/bartender know what is going on.

They brought Grandpa and Jake had a great grandfather who was still alive and was the living embodiment of Cotton Hill from "King of the Hill". He was apparently Jake's Grandmother's Father, or Jake's Grandpa's Father-in-Law. You get the idea. These Grandpas were very excited to play gold at the "resort" and I began to thing that the Cotton Hill one lived there.

At some point I feel the need to use the bathroom and I think "Yay! Maybe I'll pass the battery!" The whole time I have been very worried about that.

I go to the bathroom off the bar area and there is only one working stall and some old lady is in there. I need to go. Now. I hear her fumbling around and she finally flushes the toilet. "Yay! My turn!"

Nay nay.

She opens the door and still standing in the stall she begins blow drying her nether regions. Jake's mom comes in and informs me that I too will blow dry my crotch someday. It happens to us all.

At this point I must have gotten fed up with it all and escaped.

I am driving on I-95 in Tennessee if Tennessee were on I-95. I get off on a exit and find myself in a small town populated by nothing but what look to be satanists, metal heads, or bikers. Or all three. Who knows?

On the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street I see two prescription medicine bottles and I think "Yes! That will make this all stop." So I wind up driving against traffic to get to them. Apparently there are no police in this town as no one even tries to stop me.

When I get to where the bottles were, they are gone, so I decide to get back on the road.

There is no on ramp for I-95. I start driving, hoping to find someway back to where I was before.

I wind up at a WalMart. I use the restroom. When I come out there are a lot of scary looking men leering at me. I begin to think that everyone at this WalMart wants to rape me.

I get back in my car.

This dream occurred some time between 5:45 and 7:30 am when I woke up.

What I'm Working on Now in January 2015

I have a lot of writerly things going on in my life right now, and I bet you are wondering what all those are. Me too, actually. In order that I might share my work with you (and so that I can get an idea of how erratic my writing life really is) I'm going to list it all out here today. There are kitties because I like them.

Daily Journal Pages

I love eating birds and mices. But mostly fishies in bowl. Easier to catch. Image

I decided that I wanted to fill up a regular sized composition book every month with my personal thoughts. This is not only a diary of my day and the things I think. I am also using these pages to track what I eat, keep track of my goals, and plan my day each day. Yesterday was the 6th day I wrote in the thing, and I feel really good about what I'm doing. My only concern is that I seem to have married myself to the idea of "3 pages a day". I have written neither more nor less and I think that might be a little confining.

The Dragon Story

Kitty thinks that story about cat who thinks is dragon would be better. Image

Through my daily writing in the journal I have begun to germinate the idea about the hoarders and the dragon. At this time I see it being a longer short story, but who knows what will actually come of it. I hope to have a first draft written by this time next week.

The Vengeance Story

How should I kill bad guy? Bad kibbles? Image

The idea for this story came to me yesterday morning as I was driving That Sprout to school. A young woman dies under mysterious circumstances. Her ex boyfriend and childhood best friend team up in order to find out what really happened and ultimately avenge her death. This one is set in a town very much like Crescent City, Florida with all of the Southern Gothic elements that setting has to offer. There will be blood. There will be guns. There will be gators.

Requiem

You are overwhelmed by writing? I am not impressed. Image

This is the novel that I have been picking away at for over a year. It is about a woman who discovers that her famous ex-boyfriend has died and goes on a journey to pay her respects and come to terms with her loss. Right now I am doing some research in order to make my job easier later. I think I want to set a goal of one new chapter a week. Honestly, the task of writing an novel has begun to feel very overwhelming.

The Non-Fiction and the Short Stories

My lit mag no require revision. Prose best when raw. Like fishies. Image

I have a lot of Non-Fiction pieces and Short Stories that are in desperate need of revision. I tried working on this sometime back in September and got nowhere. I think I was over thinking it. So, it's all just sitting there, taunting me by being unfinished. I am going to buckle down and really try to work through it over the next month. If I could get to a second draft for 10 of them, I feel like I would have a great sense of accomplishment.

The Blog

I has 11 hits today. That good, right? Image

I'm trying to write something meaningful here every day. That could be going better. Time management is a good thing to have. I mean, if I was just writing down my thoughts and feelings like in the journal, blogging would be no sweat. But I'm trying to produce thematic, engaging, viable content EVERY DAY. It's not easy. But practice leads to improvement, so here we are.

First Person Narrative Writing Services/Atomic Writing Services

It say here kitties no pay taxes. Why I save birdbath receipts? Image

This refers to the writing business I am trying to make happen in 2015. I have not yet decided on a name, but I have created a list of services I plan to offer and a price list. Before I start taking on clients I need to talk to an accountant and get myself a brand logo. This is an ongoing project. For the next 5 weeks I will be taking a class for small business owners at the local library. After that I hope to have more of an idea about what I'm actually doing.

So, that's about it. I will keep you posted with updates and excerpts as they become available.

3 Lies I Used to Believe About Writing

Every writer has their own ideas about how things should be done. The problem comes when you start trusting what other writers say about writing instead of your own intuition. The literary life is a lonely one and it's easy to begin thinking "I'm doing this all wrong." Most people don't understand or appreciate what you do, and those who do have an idea are telling you that their way is the best way. It's not. Your way is the best way. We would all do well to remember Polonius's words to Laertes:

You better know what this is from . . . Image 

I too have fallen prey to the feeling that I was doing something wrong. I am constantly striving to improve myself, which isn't a bad thing, necessarily but it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. If you're always trying to be better it means that you are never good enough. Here are 3 things that I used to believe about writing as a result of my ceaseless quest for improvement.

1. Real writers don't write lousy first drafts.

I think it's fairly easy to see how a person could come to believe this. Writers don't often see other writers' first drafts. Even if someone at critique says it's their first draft, it probably isn't. No one is going to share something that they had not yet first edited. We all check our work for spelling and grammar errors. (Or, at least we should.) Because of this compulsive need to polish our work we never see what everyone else's work looks like in that raw, fresh from the brain stage.

So, when we see our own work at that point we think we are terrible. We think we're deluding ourselves. We think that we aren't really writers. Don't believe that. You are a writer. I believe everyone is a writer. The difference between those of us who believe we are and those who believe they are not is the ability to read and revise our words with a critical eye. Anyone can do it, but most people don't.

2. Writers work alone.

It is true that writing is a solitary endeavor, but that does not mean that writers work alone. I have found that trying to sequester myself is the absolute worst thing I can do for my writing. We need human interaction. How else are we supposed to write believable human characters? Personally, I need people to bounce ideas off of.

I was never so happy or productive as when I was part of a writing group. We were 5 ladies meeting in the same place and the same time every week to discuss our writing. It was wonderful. I loved the accountability and the encouragement. It gave me something to work toward and to look forward to during the week. We were all very different people which was great because we all brought something unique and valuable to the table. We trusted one another to provide good and thorough critiques and it was amazing how much all our writing improved.

Sadly, I haven't found that sort of community since I moved to NC, but I still have hope. If you are not meeting with a critique group, you should really consider it. It will might be the best thing you ever did.

3. Writing isn't a real job.

Let's face it, unless your name is J.K. Rowling or something along those lines no one is going to take you seriously when you tell them you are a writer. "Yes, but what do you do?" they will ask, as though writing is some kind of hobby and surely you must have a real job. I do not have a "real job."

Writing is my real job. It is the thing that makes me feel like I am not just wasting my life while my husband and my child get to live theirs. Yes, I am a stay at home mom. That's not who I am. Yes, I am an Army wife. That's not who I am. Those are my relationships to other people, and while those relationships are very important they do not define me. My child will grow up and move away. My husband will retire, or leave, or die. I will still be a writer.

Just because I haven't yet begun to earn money from this occupation does not mean that it is not my job. Writing is what I do and I do it well. Much better than being a mom or a wife, if you ask me. Don't let people make you feel like what you do isn't worthy. Stories can change the world. That is the most worthy thing I can think of.

Link Round-Up: The 12 Days of Christmas Edition

Here are some great pieces of writing that I came across over the past week(s). I know that you are probably about as sick of Christmas as I am, but traditionally the 12 days mentioned in the most annoying holiday song don't end until tomorrow. So, I'm bringing you the best Christmas writing I have come across this season. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

"Waiting for Baby: Pregnant at Christmas" by Charlotte Botsford Getz

This is an article by my dear friend Charlotte that discusses the reason for the season. Charlotte is a talented writer and I hope to see her publish her book in the coming year. Also, her kid is freaking adorable.

"Losing my Faith" by Simon Lebon

I love this essay so, so much. Not only is it beautifully written, but it really resonates with me as I continue to struggle with my feelings on faith and religion. If nothing else, this essay stands as a testament to a fact that I have known for years: Duran Duran's lead singer is a very intelligent man and one hell of a writer. Simon Lebon reads his work in this video.

"A Christmas Memory" by Truman Capote

If you have never read this story, then you should. It is perfect in every way. Just read it. Now.

"They Know it's Christmas" by Laura Seay

Obviously, this is a critique of Band Aid 30's re-release of "Do They Know it's Christmas?" in order to raise money for the Ebola epidemic in West Africa. While I agree with several of the points made in the article I think that Bob Geldof genuinely tried to do a nice thing here. Of course, I am prone to giving rock stars way too much slack, so maybe I am part of the problem. Also, the original song is one of my favorites of the season, so I'm partial.

"The SantaLand Diaries"  by David Sedaris

This last one is just great writing and pure fun. If you haven't read this, fear not. It's being read for you in a handy, dandy YouTube video. Just turn it on and enjoy.

Writer Quotes #1

Fan Girl Friday - Beowulf's Dragon

And then they all groaned.

"We hated it when we had to read it in high school, and we hate it now."

Well, haters gon' hate, ain't they? But if you could stop your kvetching for long enough to actually read Beowulf I bet you would find a lot to love. I know I do.

Recently the dragon has been on my mind - an not just because of the Cumberperson's performance in The Hobbit films, although I must say that dragon and Beowulf's dragon have a lot in common. The main difference is of course that Bilbo Baggins succeeded where the likes of Beowulf failed. (Sure Beowulf killed the Dragon, but he died in the process. Maybe we'll call it a draw.)

The dragon captures my imagination for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which being that I am generally enamored of dragons. My sister was into unicorns, but for me it was all about those scaly, fire breathing beasts of lore. They are so fierce, so majestic, so formidable. They are basically everything that I am not. I think that we can safely blame Bruce Coville for the genesis of my fascination. There was life before Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher and there was life after. After, of course being when I became the semi-nerd I am today. Soon after, I began collecting dragon figurines and lusting after the types of boys who collected comic books, listened to Weird Al and Rob Zombie with equal gusto, and who played role playing games (dragons optional).

This needs to be a movie. Image.

Many years passed. My infatuation with these cryptids waned, but my knowledge of them remained. Then, one day I found myself in Dr. Yeager's Anglo Saxon Poetry class at UWF and wouldn't you know, we were talking about dragons. Specifically, what the dragon means in Beowulf. You see, he isn't just some monster that our hero has to fight. No, no. He is a symbol of the downfall and ultimate demise of the entire civilization.

How?

You see, the dragon is very covetous of this stash of gold he's sleeping on. A stash of gold, might I add, that really doesn't belong to him. He found it. It was amassed by the lone survivor of a civilization that was wiped out by some terrible war. The poor guy who was left had all this gold and armour, but without any friends to share it with, it was meaningless. So he piled it all into a cave and basically mourned himself to death over the loss of his comrades.

Enter the dragon. The dragon likes the treasure. It feels good on his scales. It's shiny like fire, and if there's one thing dragons love, it's fire. So, he takes up residence in the cave with the gold. Everything is fine until one day a desparate man fleeing some sort of injustice
happens upon the cave. He is terrified of the dragon, but he also has no money, so he swipes a cup before making a hasty exit.

He looks very smug, doesn't he? Myles Pinkney

Dragons are apparently very much like accountants. Every coin, cutlass, and cup are accounted for. When the dragon wakes up, he knows immediately that he has been robbed. He then goes on a tear and starts burning up the countryside because someone stole a cup from his cave. Nevermind that this treasure was the amassed economic worth of an entire tribe of people. Nevermind the fact that he still had the majority of a treasure that wasn't his to begin with. He needed his cup.

This scenario stirs my imagination. The dragon reminds me very much of another creature who collects treasure that aren't really theirs and then hoards them. HOARDERS. Let me first say that I hate the shows that seem to do nothing but exploit these people's very real psychological and emotional problems. I am not basing my thesis on television. I have seen those types of situations first hand. Hoarding is not funny. Neither is the dragon.

There is a specific type of hoarder that likes to amass things that aren't really theirs to begin with. The unwanted possessions of people who have died or gone away. Ubi sunt? Sometimes they purchase these things. Sometimes they "find" them. The truth of the situation is always the same though. "It is his to seek out [treasure] in the earth, where he guards for ages heathen gold; gains nothing by it." They amass all this stuff that doesn't belong to them and it ultimately destroys their homes, their families, and ultimately their lives. And for what? A bunch stuff that wasn't really theirs in the first place that they shamelessly covet.

This observation, dear friends and gentle readers is the beginning of what I hope will be an interesting short story about hoarding based on Beowulf and the dragon.

2015 Resolutions and Goals

Happy New Year! I made a video! 

It really doesn't warrant that level of enthusiasm, but hey, I am of an enthusiastic nature. 

I made the mistake of not writing down what I thought all my resolutions and goals were before making the video, but they say that vlogging is a learning process. It feels like the internet is an ongoing learning process for me, yet I somehow know more than everyone else I know. It's strange to be both an expert and an idiot in the same field.

Anyway, here are some things I'm excited for in 2015:

• Making some $$$ 
• Volunteering
• Weekly and Monthy Goals (Instead of Big, Scary, New Year's Resolutions)
• Getting Healthy
• Getting Organized
• Writing

I think I said all that in the video, but I thought it best to reiterate. But how am I going to do all that, you ask?

Making $$$

Initially, I had planned to perform Elvira's "Spell for Reeking Moola", but since that yielded a big fat snake instead of big fat stacks, I've decided to begin offering my services as an editor and writer. I will be adding prices and a detailed list of services on the blog before this time next week. I've recently become involved in a networking organization called Fayetteville Divas which I hope will point me in the right direction as far as being an independent business woman. Lots of people are interested in what I do, so I think I'm on the right track.

Volunteering

Through the Fayetteville Divas I have become aware of a local non-profit called Ways 2 Love Fayetteville. Basically, if you want to volunteer they will hook you up with an organization that needs volunteers. I am going to contact them this week about starting a creative writing program at the nursing home they are affiliated with. I have done a lot of thinking over the past few months and I keep coming back to two interests: seniors and writing. I think it's time I marry these interests and help some people.

Weekly and Monthly Goals

Don't get me wrong. I have a master list of everything I want to get done between now and December 31. But after years of setting goals and failing to meet them, I have realized that I need to break my goals down into tiny little pieces. Digestible nuggets that I can accomplish. Hence the weekly and monthly goals. I am so excited about this, mostly because I feel like I can't not succeed. I need more success in my life.

Getting Healthy

I have a personal trainer. I have a nutrition guy. I have a gym at my apartment complex. I have all sorts of apps to track things. I have a StickK account that will send $5 to a charity I hate every time I don't stick to one of my goals. I have a cadre of supportive friends in my corner. If I don't get healthy this year, it's through willful disobedience.

Getting Organized

This one is all about the FLY Lady. You don't know about the FLY Lady? You should totally know about the FLY Lady. She is all about eliminating CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I need less CHAOS in my life. I started today by shining my sink and I am totally ready to take things one day at a time until I look around and find that things are not out of control. By this time next year I could have a usable office! 

Writing

Last, but not least, there's the writing. I am going to finish my novel this year. I am going to get published this year. I am going to develop a consistent writing practice this year. I have the tools. I have the technology. I have the support. I don't have my stellar writing group anymore, but I am going to reach out to them this week and see if there's not some way that I can participate from afar. I have people who believe in me and my voice. I am going to do this. And that's what this blog is about, after all. Me, doing this. My First Person Narrative.