New Feature! New Feature! "Cus Ya Can't Put Tits and Ass Up on the Marquee"

Since last we spoke, I have been on a quest to clean out my fire hazard office so that I might finally set up the new computer I got for Christmas and get j^C off my back about using his things. Sharing is caring, but he didn't get the memo.  In my cleaning I've unearthed the annals of my writing - an exciting thing, I assure you. I'm sorry to say that my composition and structure has only gotten worse since the 6th Grade. Alas. At least my leading men don't all smack of Bruce Wayne anymore . . . 

While reading through various papers and composition books, I found a list I made several years ago of things I wanted to blog about. See, I thought that I was going to be a famous and rich blogger after college. Ha! If I knew then what I know now. There were several ideas on the list which I have no interest in now - but there was a standout which is now FPN's NEW FEATURE: T&A Tuesadays!

What is a T&A Tuesday? I'd rather show you than tell you, so here's the first one.

I don't know what the fascination is, really, but I have a "thing" about people with snaggly type teeth. I don't care much for gaps, but I think a crooked smile is one of the sexiest things ever. Maybe it's because I am a vampire loving cat lady, but I think snaggle teeth are great. I will not apologize. I blame Interview with the Vampire for this dental appreciation. Kirsten Dunst was beautiful in that film, all lithe and catlike with her huge eyes and fangly fangs. I was delighted to find out that even though she wore prostetic fangs on screen, she still had fang-like snaggle teeth in real life. I loved it and I wanted to look like that too. Sadly, I was blessed instead with a gap, much to my chagrin. Sad also, is the fact that Kirsten had her teeth ruined fixed last year by eliminating the sexy snaggle. I am sad. But there's hope! While Hollywood might frown on unique smiles, the music industry in more forgiving. So, I give you:

Dig that graphic, huh? Generators are my best friends.

1. Billy Corgan

Source. Source. Source. Source. Source.

I couldn't decide on just one photo. He is too fine and his smile is just too charming. Now, I know that this is supposed to be all about T&A, and how sexy these people are, but Billy's sexiness is only increased by virtue of his incredible talent. If there's one artist I would love to collaborate with, Billy is the one. Of course, I might melt into a puddle on the floor the first time I made him laugh. And I would make him laugh. Don't you worry about that.  There's also the fact that he's 6'3" and he could make me feel small and fragile. I like feeling small and fragile. People, he's #1 for a reason, and it's not just the cat-like, snaggly-toothed-ness.

2. Jewel

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We, the little people, are thankful that there wasn't easily accessed Orthodontia in Alaska when Jewel was a child, although even if it had been available, our girl would have declined. Over the course of her career her crooked smile has sadly received as much attention as her music, and yet she has never chosen to realign her teeth. When asked, she gives a very simple reason why: "I don't like pain. I never wanted braces." Amen, sister! You don't need them! So called imperfections are beautiful, and I think Jewel is beautiful just the way she is, snaggle tooth and all.

3. Moby

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Oh, Moby. He's pretty much adorable, in that impish way I love so much. He's only 5'7", so he's kind of like this crazy-impressive, techno-spinning, snaggle-toothed elf. I love it. I just wish he would make a big comeback squash this dub-step stuff into submission. Because my taste is all that matters. Yeah. Seriously though, at least he's mostly washed looking - five o'clock shadow notwithstanding.

4. Avril Lavigne

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I have very little to say about the future Ex-Mrs. Chad Kroeger. I think she's really pretty. I appreciate that she hasn't changed her snaggle tooth. I like her music well enough. I just wish that her smiles didn't look so forced . . . It must be hard to be rich and famous.

5. Gerard Way

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There was a time, not so long ago, when I was in love with Gerard here. That time has come and gone, and while I do think that he is both beautiful and talented, my tastes have evolved and I am interested in men who are not so slight and frail looking (see #1). Nevertheless, Gerard is also in possession of the catlike features and snaggle tooth, so he's here to round out our list. While my lust for his person seems to have dissipated, I still think he's easy on the eyes, and I certainly wouldn't kick him out of bed. Maybe the fact that he's married and has a kid killed my interest. I am such a hypocrite.