Weekly Reflections #2

Appropriate, I feel. Source

I was so positive last week. What the hell happened?

I've been pushing forward, but I feel like my momentum has slowed and my good attitude has withered, leaving behind nothing but silent and seething anger. I am on the verge of snapping at any moment. I want to scream at the dogs, at That Sprout, at innocent pedestrians on the street. I considered lashing out at a homeless man yesterday, but decided that was not a good look. I don't know why this happened, but it needs to stop. I am not in any way hormonal, so the best I can figure is that it's just me - a phase I'm going through. I don't like it. I don't like it all.

That being said, I have had some successes. I have made a little progress, however modest.

This Week I . . . 

• Walked in excess of 17 miles
• Began my second week of the Couch to 5K program
• Lost another 2.4 pounds
• Continued taking my pills regularly
• Was accepted to the Teacher Ready online teacher certification program
• Went to Church
• Went to a play date with a new friend
• Began first drafts of 2 poems
• Began cleaning house and purging clutter
• Won $25 at trivia!!!
• Did a random act of kindness
• Was chosen to co-organize a writing group for Deep
• Defeated That Sprout in her night time antics
• Made a new friend on Twitter (which we will discuss in more depth tomorrow)

This seems like a paltry and forced list. I feel like I should have accomplished more in the past seven days, and maybe I did and forgot about it, but it seems like I have done nothing but encounter adversity. I am so sick of the inconstancy in my life. I thank my lucky stars that I have some things which are consistent: Deep, my weekly appointments, my walking with Beth. About the walking - I want you to know that nothing would please me more than canceling this morning. I have about 1 million things to do, I have a sore throat, and I am in a lot of pain from walking/running on Monday and Tuesday. But I am not going to cancel. I am not going to quit. It is a conscious decision and it is a battle I have chosen to win every day. That's a yay, right?

Now, for my week of FAIL:

• I have the stupidest of all sports related (fat related?) injuries 
• The dog pooped the floor last night
• I have been a mega bitch
• I ate far more garbage food than I should have 
• I have not been very focused on domestic or literary work AT ALL

This doesn't sound so bad, now that I list it all out, but it still feels really bad. I am trying so hard to be productive and forward moving and I feel that I have done nothing but waste time since Saturday. What's more is that I will not again be in a position to accomplish things the way I would like until Tuesday . . . So, I have essentially lost a week and a half. I hate this. I am in a rage. I sure hope this passes when my life goes back to normal (until the next 4 day). This is no way to live.