The Kony 2012 Bandwagon: A Rant

Doth my ears deceive me? Are these people asking our government to intervene on foreign soil for no other reason than it's the right thing to do?

Did I miss a memo?

I thought that was the exact same reason everyone thought we should have never invaded Iraq.

Never mind that there were and are horrifying human rights violations taking place across the middle east. Never mind that children were, and in some places still are kidnapped, raped, sold into slavery, killed, and forced to kill in those countries. We are told that the only reason out military is occupying these countries is because we want to exploit them for their oil.

And maybe we do.

But I fail to see how one cause turns into a huge middle class movement full of white privilege and bad hair while the other one is turned into the shame of us all.

Yes, the war was a bad idea. It was totally about oil. We had no business ever going into Iraq. I agree. I totally agree. America should not be policing the world. That's bad. But apparently only in the middle east. Policing Africa, and taking their big, scary, mean dictators out of power is totally OK. Especially because some asshole in Chuck Taylors said so.

I'm all for helping children - I just don't see how Iraqi children and African children are different. Why is it OK to secure human rights for one and not the other? Why is it OK to stop Joseph Kony but we were totally wrong to depose Saddam Hussein? Don't even get me started on Osama bin Laden.

Whatever you think about war and America's place overseas, the fact remains that Hussein and bin Ladin were bad men. With them gone, I will have you know that things have improved for the children of Iraq and Afghanistan. Even though it was a sham war based on oil, we were able to do some good in the human rights department. Us - big, bad, scary, hypocritical, oil hungry, war mongering America - we did that.

Meanwhile, let's consider the "get rid of Kony" movement. These people asked Washington to help Uganda clean house. These people, with peace signs emblazoned all over everything, asked for the military to intervene, while crying for peace. Maybe they don't understand what armies do? Do they think the Army is going to drive this guy out with some incense and drum circle? Armies have guns, kind of like Kony's child army. Those guns will be fired. If military action comes to pass - we ARE going to be shooting at children. We will likely be killing children. If we are successful, hopefully we will save more lives than we take, but it's not going to be peaceful. It's just not.

So, Kony 2012 people, do any of you have the vaguest conception under God, what it is you are really asking for - what you are really doing? I doubt it. You're young. You're most likely white (I can say that, I'm white too). You're educated. You're disenfranchised. You have probably occupied something recently. You want to feel like you're doing something to change the world. You want to make a difference.

Well, I got some bad news for you, Sunshine:

#Kony2012 is about the least you could do. Literally. The very least.

Okay, so maybe the racial participation on this issue is 50/50.

"But I'm making people more aware!" you cry. And what? That awareness is doing exactly nothing. You can feel incensed all you want about the fact that our government won't intervene, stop the violence, and save the children but the truth is this: it's not that simple. International relations are complicated. War is hard. If you're so smart, why don't you back a bag, grab your passport, and get your all knowing butt right on over to Africa. Furthermore, why are you making Joseph Kony famous with this #Kony2012 thing? Why not #invisiblechildren? Why not #warchild?

I'm not saying your heart isn't in the right place. It is. What I'm saying is that your actions and your intentions are misguided. I don't have the answer, but I'm pretty sure that a bunch of young, middle class, white Americans tweeting about a documentary on the internet is not a solution. Maybe instead, we could all start by treating the black children in our own communities like actual human beings. You know, instead of shooting them for walking while wearing a hoodie while black. Just a thought.

I'm just going to leave this right here.