Oh Be Joyful, Cus That Shit Spreads . . .

You know how they say you should think outside of the box? Well, I like to think that I do that on a regular basis, but that's most likely me giving myself credit where no credit is due. I tend to get stuck on certain ideas and have a hard time looking at them in a different way. That's how things stagnate and I begin to feel hopeless. Then comes the sneaky hate spiral, and before long, we've got panic attacks and major depression, which is where I've been as of late.

Since my insurance seems to be working against psychotherapy at the moment, I've taken it upon myself to make a conscious and mindful effort at creating and maintaining some happiness in my life. The first step of this has been to more or less banish downer music from my listening repertoire. That sounds like a simple thing, but if you were to look at my Media Player, you would see that I have more songs in the key of G minor than otherwise. I like sad songs. Elton John knew what he was talking about when he sang "sad songs say so much". A sucker for the intellectual and the thought provoking, I love music with a story and engaging lyrics. Those stories, unfortunately, tend to be downers, if not specifically in lyrical content, then in tempo or chord structure.

Michigan J. Frog - Spreading Joy 1955-2005
Source

Thankfully, as I have mentioned in the past, I also really like pop music. It's something that I've recently come to terms with, as I didn't want to be a "prep" while in school, I eschewed the "Britney and Justin Wannabes" and kept my Hanson and Spice Girls consumption to myself. I'm not in high school anymore though, and it's high time I stop worrying about what other people think. I'm never going to be invited to sit at the cool kid's table, and if I were honest with myself, I don't really think they're that cool anyway. There comes a point when you gotta say "Fuck Em", and to thine own self be true. My dad and Shakespeare both said it, so it's gotta be some pretty good advice.

That said, I'm currently listening to a playlist of mid to late 90s boy bands, feminist empowerment rock, and "upbeat" heavy metal. Don't ask me what that is exactly. There's no definition. The best example I can give you is Godsmack's "Whatever". Also, there's a fair share of dance music and rap. Despite the fact that rap music can have some pretty harrowing words, you just can't be sad with a good beat. Basically, I am listening to whatever makes me want to sing and dance. They say you gotta find your bliss; well, mine is music, so I'm using that to my advantage.

In my quest to help myself, I've given some real thought to what truly makes me happy and I've come to the conclusion that it's a pretty short list;

• Food
• Friends
• Family
• Writing
• Music
• Animals

Anything else that I love could probably be pigeonholed into one of those six categories.

This brings me to the part about thinking outside of the box. I want to be a writer, right? The problem has been that I can't think of anything to write about. I've been trying to write novels and short stories - trying to tap into what's hot in the off chance that I could ride this or that wave to publication. In so doing, I broke the cardinal rule: "To thine own self be true". I haven't been able to find my voice because the stories I've been trying to write don't move me. I was trying to write someone else's story while passing it off as my own.

Today, it hit me - What's my story? What do I love?  Cooking, food, friends, family, writing. Why wasn't I writing about food, cooking, friends, and family. I came home as fast as I could and started brainstorming - at the moment I have over 60 story ideas involving food and my friends and family. It makes sense, historically the table has been a gathering place. If you read the Bible or Beowulf, people are eating and telling stories. I can't say that I'm going to be able to develop all of these stories, but I've got something more to work with than I've had in a really long time. These are stories that I want to tell. They're stories that aren't sad, bittersweet, or otherwise painful. They are funny, poignant, and full of life and joy.

I am so excited about this, you guys! I can't wait to see what's going to come of it. I hope this is the start of an upswing for me. As for you guys, what's your bliss? Find it - share it. Oh! Be joyful! Cus shit spreads.