How I Wound Up Briefly Driving A Badass Monte Carlo

I had been thinking for a while that I wanted a truck. I had a friend who drove this big GMC pickup and I thought it was really cool, and I could see the value of having a bed with which to haul things, so I started in on trying to convince her that a truck was the solution to my our problems. The Ford Focus was too low to the ground for the dirt road we lived on and a truck would have 4 wheel drive with which to navigate the road when it flooded, which it often did.

So, we went to the local Chevy dealership one Saturday morning after pancake breakfast to see what there was to see. I’m still not sure why I never even got to test drive a pickup. Maybe it was the sales person, or maybe my mom just wanted to try out the TrailBlazer. Maybe I wanted to drive it because I liked to color. I really don’t remember. At any rate, I got behind the wheel of a Burgundy 2003 Chevy TrailBlazer and was pretty awed. It had a 6 CD changer, a sun roof, leather seats, more room that any sensible person needed, and hydraulic seats. I was impressed, but I wasn’t sold. It didn’t have 4 wheel drive, which had been one of the main reasons I wanted a bigger vehicle, and it was really expensive. Regarding the 4x4, I was told that I didn’t need it because I was “a woman”. Yeah. Someone actually said that to me. And my mom didn’t immediately pack up and leave.

I really want to blame it on her, but the fact of the matter was, I needed new car before that Monday. I had already bought the tickets for the MCR show, but my mom wasn’t going to let me drive the Focus all that way because of the tires. I would like to add that my prime operative that Saturday was to consider some new modes of transport to think about, but to spend to $500 it would have taken to get brand new tires in time for the show. We wound up trading in the Focus – Sylvia, I had called her, after Sylvia Plath – for the TrailBlazer. My mom financed and stroked the check. We were to pick the truck up Monday morning, as they wanted to detail it.

Monday came, we went to get my new ride so I could head to Orlando, and it wasn’t there. Apparently, it had already been sold before I ever test drove it. We bought someone else’s car. We paid for someone else’s car. And the dealership had already cashed the check and sold my car. I was carless and I had to be in Orland by 7 that night. I was fucked. But so were they. They had broken the law and they were scrambling to make it right before we caught wise and called the cops. I was 18 and my only concern was how I was going to get to my damn show, and I said as much. They were willing to do anything to make us happy at that point, so they handed me the keys to a 2003 Monte Carlo. “It’s yours until we can get you another Trail Blazer.” I don’t know how legal that was either, but I had a sweet ride to the show.

It was black and silver with black leather interior. It was awesome. It was the car that I would have wanted if I didn’t live down a dirt road. I was in love. I grabbed the tickets, my makeup bag, and Duran Duran’s Wedding Album and I was off.