When I was in high school, I was a very touchy-feely sort of person. I was full of hugs for everyone, and there was a lot of hair braiding, make-up application, and "muah! muah!" kissing going on. I had several male friends whom I would walk around with either arm in arm, or holding hands ever so daintily at eye level. We looked like we were heading to cotillion. I cannot think of one of these male friends who was not gay.
All up ons. Totally cool. Totally platonic. Totally fun. Totally gay.
With my straight male friends the touching was more playful. A gentle slap in the chest or a shove with a "you're so silly" kind of verbal response. There was also hugging, and sometimes a peck on the cheek in a moment of particular affection.
Seen here: Uranium J very drunk and hugging a heterosexual Platonic friend.
See! They do exist! We used to cuddle and watch movies too.
None of this is to be confused with sex. That wasn't really the point. I had a boyfriend for that and I am more than certain that none of the parties involved, male or female, was interested anyway. This was all about friendship, intimacy, affection, and simply being touched. I think that this was common practice back in the days of the old school yard. So, what the hell happened?
I hate this picture so much. The look on my face! But this was typical
college life. 3-7 people in a bed. All love, no sex.
I thought about it the other day. There is no reason in the adult world why you would ever touch someone outside of a handshake in a business meeting or a hug - and hugs, I might add, are for people you are really close to. I don't go around hugging my gal pals these days and they don't make the offer. And guy friends? Forget about it. I am married and therefore off limits.
God, I miss these people.
I think this is sad, and I've wondered what would happen if I started being more touchy-feely again. Would I be a creeper? My friend Woman of Steele hugged me after the movies the other night and it was totally cool and organic. Then she looked at Carl-os and he looked at her and there was this moment of "Well this is awkward." No hugging took place.
Me and one of my girls from college at the Honors Ball.
She was my date. I am fairly sure she is sitting on my
lap in this photo. That was a fun night. :-)
Why? Hugs are nice. I think we should all hug one another more. People need to know that they are cared for. People need to feel loved, appreciated, valued, whatever. There's even been some research done on this. Allegedly, a person needs 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 a day for maintenance, and 12 a day for growth to occur. It's probably hokum, but ask yourself - when was the last time you had non-sexual human contact?
Here I am with some of my former residents when I was an RA at UWF.
Lots of Love.
That long, huh? But think about this: It was nice, wasn't it? So what gives? Why are we so afraid to touch one another? I know that I was a lot happier when I had a plethora of people to touch every day. Thinking back on it, college was even better than high school at times. I had a great group of friends. We laughed a lot and everyone was touching everyone all the time. I miss this.
See, look! I'm already making friends!
Maybe I'll start an experiment. I am going to start hugging people. People I know. Random people. Old people. Young people. People people. I'll let you know what happens. Hopefully I don't wind up in jail. It worked out well in the Dave Matthews Band video, at any rate. If nothing else, maybe all the good vibes will make Savannah just a little bit nicer. I can only hope.
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