The ACTUAL First Day of Advent

I was looking for a calendar that showed the first day of Hanukkah this year, and in so doing discover that today is actually the first day of advent. So I was a little overeager. Sue me.

Remember how I said that I might be excited about the coming holiday? That feeling has already begun to wane, what with the realities of economics and parenthood breathing down my neck. I promise that I will persevere though. I am thinking of having a *gasp* Christmas Party! I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I really think I want to do this. Let's call it the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. More to come on that later.

I cannot believe I am actually
entertaining this notion . . . 

In the meantime, I want to tell you all about my new/old/ongoing mission/goal. I decided that it would behoove me to take some time to develop some "systems" for my time. Being unemployed, I find that my days all seem to run together. My life is frittering away and I have nothing to show for it. I need structure. So, like any intelligent young person, I googled my problem. Now I have a series of articles about how to structure my time, as well as a couple of calendars to fill out so I know what I'm supposed to be doing on any given day.

This gives me a little bit of hope. My child on the other hand, robs all that hope away again. Unless she is asleep, which has begun to be a somewhat infrequent event, I can neither make a plan for my time of effectively execute that plan. Calls of "Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!" constantly beckon. I don't know how all those mommy bloggers do it. They must not sleep.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude and I want to believe that someday, I will make the crossover into the land of adults, but it's feels like an uphill battle. Whoever invented kids must have been a sadist. SADIST!

In the spirit of today's complainy-pants post, I give you:

World AIDS Day 2012

I love music. This you know. What you might not know is that I am a total Scrooge. I despise the Christmas holiday. However, this year I find myself inexplicably happy about it; nay - excited even. So, to capitalize on my uncharacteristically upbeat feelings toward the last month of the year, I am sharing with my faithful readers the first annual FPN Extended Play Advent Calendar!

Today is December 1, and while I am not certain if it is the official first day of Advent, I am certain that it is World AIDS Day. The first World AIDS Day was observed on December 1, 1988. Since then, the campaign has worked tirelessly to educate the world about the epidemic and to help bring about it's end.

Click Here to Donate
to AIDS Research

"In its first two years, the theme of World AIDS Day focused on children and young people. These themes were strongly criticized at the time for ignoring the fact that people of all ages may become infected with HIV and suffer from AIDS. But the themes drew attention to the HIV/AIDS epidemic, helped alleviate some of the stigma surrounding the disease, and helped boost recognition of the problem as a family disease."

-Wikipedia: World AIDS Day

I don't feel like there's a lot more that I can say about World AIDS Day. If you have never loved anyone with HIV/AIDS, you are blessed. If you have, then you know how horrible AIDS truly is and how painful it is physically, emotionally, and psychologically for the person with the disease, as well as everyone who loves them. Our world has lost so many beautiful and talented people to this horror - some well known, some not so much. Every life deserves to be lived and every life lost is a story we never got to hear. My prime operative with this blog is not only to share my own story, but to provide a place for stories that might not normally be told. The idea that someone's story ended too soon breaks my heart.  

In observation of World AIDS Day, and the first day of FPN Advent, I am sharing two videos. The first is Elton John's performance of "The Show Must Go On" at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert. Elton John was moved by the death of Mercury, and by the death of Ryan White to found the Elton John AIDS Foundation which has raised over $200 million to support prevention, education, and direct care services for those living with HIV/AIDS. 

The second video is of Elvis Presley singing "Blue Christmas". Why? It's a Christmas song that I like, and it's appropriate for today's theme. Somewhere out there, there are people having a Blue Christmas because of HIV/AIDS. 

Earth 2

I am such a huge nerd. I am reliving my childhood, and watching Earth 2 tonight. I have long been a sci-fi geek in hiding. Slowly, so slowly, I am coming out of the closet.

Viva the 90s!

I miss the 90s so much.

I haven't got a whole lot new and interesting to report today. I lesson planned for my Deep lesson this morning, with minimal interruptions. I spent a quiet day at home thereafter. Things are pretty good.

Just so you know,  this was an obligatory "I will blog every day" post. Maybe I will make with something poignant tomorrow.

13 Days of Darkness: The Dungeon of Harrow

Friday Free For All - Things I Love to Talk About A-Z

See, I'm not so cynical. Source

Today's Friday Free For All concept was stolen from Julie at one of my favorite blogs: Peanut Butter Fingers. I give you Things I Love to Talk About A-Z! Instead of just listing the simple things that make me happy, like Julie did, I am listing the that I should start writing more about, because it's best to work on things you love, yes? I've already got some great ideas swimming around in my head. I just need to make some time to start working on them. Also, it's Friday, and that means I can do something fun. Right now, lists are fun, so here you are!

Things I Love to Talk About A-Z

A - Anne Rice and Asparagus Soup - They tied.
B - Body Image
C - Crescent City and Cats. Also, Cassadega.
D - Duran Duran! Duran Duran! Duran Duran!
E - Elder Care
F - First Person Narrative
G - Gender Politics (There's a high concept for you)
H - History - Micro and Macro
I - Interconnection of Ideas in Music, Film, Art, and Literature (The Spider Web)
J - John, Elton
K - Kane, Citizen
L - Law, of the Copyright and Public Domain varieties.
M - Music and Motion Picture History
N - Normalcy, and How it Doesn't Exist, Not Really
O - Orson Welles
P - Pop Culture, Palatka, and Pensacola. Poetry - not so much.
Q - Queer Theory and My Theory on Why We Maybe Shouldn't Call it That
R - Robots. I love robots.
S - Speculative Fiction? Screenplays?
T - Time  Travel
U - Unity Mitford, Because She's Interesting
V - Volunteering and Violence
W - Wilde, Oscar
X - Xanatos Gambit
Y - Yoga
Z - Zen

So, yes. That should keep me busy for quite a while. In the meantime, I have some Uranium J updates for you!

Eins! Did you know that your local library probably has access to research databases and that you can search them from home? Me neither, until today! Now I have a shiny new library card and the ability to start working on some academic writing, if I am so inclined.

Zwei! I got my business cards! Pictures will be posted soon.

Drei! Deep training went well on Saturday and Sunday. I have been placed with my teaching partner, and I am all set to starting teaching with the program on the first Monday of October. I am so excited!

Vier! I'm gonna go see The Possession tonight. Oh yeah.

So, yeah, that's about it.

What are your favorite things to talk about? Do you have any updates you want to share? Comment! Comment! Comment!

Praise You Like I Should - Meandering

I don't say much about j^C on here, and I don't say enough nice things about him in general. So right now I would like to soapbox about one the the wonderful things about my husband: He lets me meander.

What the hell does that mean? you ask. To answer that I must first explain something about myself: I am a meanderer. Merriam-Webster defines the word thusly:

Meander: intransitive verb
1) to follow a winding or intricate course
2) to wander aimlessly or casually without urgent destination; ramble

This is me. I like to meander. I am a meanderer. Some people merely tolerate my meandering. Others indulge it. Then there are those who don't understand the concept of meandering. I don't care for spending time with these people. They rush me and herd me and which sends me into a spiral of anxiety and stress leaving me a frazzled mess for an indeterminable lenghth of time. "Why are we leaving? We just got here!" I think to myself. There are boxes of records in thrift stores that need to be examined at one by one, just in case there's a copy of Captain Fantastic and The Dirt Brown Cowboy or a first pressing of Some Girls. Why don't you all just let me look? What could be more important? The history's not going anywhere, the records might. This also applies to books, CDs, movies, and the little placards at the historical site because I am a woefully slow reader.

Banned. Just cuz the queened up Judy Garland. Source

Most often this happens on vacations. I can handle being annoying. I cannot handle being stressed out. I don't like  taking Xanax at this point. (I don't like taking any drugs at all, but that's another story for another time.) I am to the point now where I might start getting "lost" so I can spend my sweet time exploring what I think is the most interesting. I found some time ago that I would rather visit very small towns on vacation instead of the big tourist destinations for this very reason. In a small town, there's a finite amount of things to see and do, so taking my time and immersing myself will not be done at the expense of another attraction or activity. In a bigger place, you just cannot do that. If you want to get the most out of your visit, you rush around like a madman from place to place and thing to thing. Still, you never really see all of it. Not seeing it all stresses me out. I would rather explore a few things thoroughly than a lot of things superficially. It's supposed to be about pleasure and making memories, right? How am I supposed to remember so many things crammed into one day? My brain not work so good.

j^C, being the nice guy that he is, indulges me. We can spend an hour or two at the thrift store while on vacation. He will let me wander around the museum aimlessly reading all the things there are to read, looking at the art and exhibits until my little black heart is content. When I travel with him, I don't feel hurried, stressed, or otherwise put upon. It's really nice, and I am truly grateful for his patience with this matter as I know I will never have his understanding about it. This quirk of mine aggravates him just as much as it does everyone else, but since he knows that my meandering is important to me, he doesn't grouse. In return, I try to be mindful of time and I make sure we don't spend all day rummaging through boxes of moldy vinyl. While part of me wants to know what is in every single box, there are other things to explore, and maybe like the history, the records aren't going anywhere either.

Friday Free For All: Bringing Back the Naughties with Lists

I read somewhere recently that the first decade of the new millennium (2000-2009) are referred to as the "aughts". I love this, but I also find it a bit clunky. Nearly every term I've heard that refers to this time period is quite clunky in fact. But then I read that the British refer to the decade as the "noughties" and I love it. "Nought" is a term used non American English speaking countries for "zero", so it is both appropriate and fun to say. Being that I am an American and I must bastardize everything, I'm calling the decade after the 90s "The Naughties". Isn't that fun?

Why am I talking about this? Because it's Friday, and I can, for one - but also because I am feeling nostalgic for the halcyon days of blogging on LiveJournal when a list could be considered compelling content. I'm tired and I burned myself out last week with the videos and the writing. I want to post something meaningful, but I want it to be simple and elegant. I want to post a list, and so I shall. I give you,

Things I Suck At
(idea lifted from Amy Estes at Coffee & Sunshine)

Brevity
I can go on and on and on about any and everything. If you don't believe me, please refer to my very first VEDA video. Like my hero, Ernest P. Worrell, I never know when to quit.

Cleaning
I don't know why this is so hard for me, but it is. Something that would take a normal person twenty minutes to do will take me two hours. It is incredably vexing, but as I grow older, I am learning how to cope with my shortcomings. That's a kinder, gentler way to say that I am becoming complacent. I hope that the next house I live in is about half the size of the present one. I had a lot less problems with this issue when I was in college and confined to a finite amount of space. Bigger spaces just mean bigger messes. I would have much fewer problems if I lived in a box. I wonder if I can find one with a reasonable mortgage?

Confrontation
I recently told a close friend of mine that j^C and I are going to have to start having our arguments via email. My feeling is that I can think more clearly on paper and therefore have a well reasoned and logical argument. This is just a ruse though. The truth is I don't like confrontation and I will do nigh on anything to avoid it. I will roll over, cave, and become the milquetoast we all know me to be to avoid a fight. That's kind of sad, and something I should really work on.

Selling Things
I totally stole this one off of Amy's list, but it is so true for me that I couldn't leave it off. If I had to make my way in the world selling myself and/or my wares, I would starve. I feel like a great big jerk when I am trying to promote anything. I don't like people trying to sell me things, but since I hate confrontation, I'll cave pretty quickly to make them go away. Conversely, since I hate to be sold I don't like to sell. Of course, maybe the real aversion is to being turned down.

Staying on Task
That sounds like something a teacher would say, doesn't it? "J, you need to stay on task." Pfft. Please. I don't now that I would classify it as a weakness, but it's definitely a hindrance at times. My brain tends to go faster than my hands or my mouth. As such, I am usually involved in several things at once, all in various stages of completion. The problem with this is that things tend to linger on in a state of incompleteness. In these moments I wish I could do something from start to finish, but I'm just not wired that way. I think that's OK.

Alright kids, that was 5 things. Any more and I fear we will be descending into a Sneaky Hate Spiral. I began to wonder though, is there anything I wish I sucked at? Yes! I wish I sucked at cooking sometimes. I like doing it, but it can be a hassle. Also, if I sucked at cooking I wouldn't feel obligated to take culinary masterpieces of the baked goods variety to parties EVERY TIME. I could just go buy a frozen cake and be done with it. Alas, the burdens of being good at something. Poor me.

What do you suck at? Do you think it's bad that you suck at these things? Is there anything you wish you sucked at?