I'm sure that I have plenty of personality traits that are less than ideal. My husband has intimated to me more than once that he thought I was "annoying" when we knew one other in high school. I tend to come on very strong. I want people to like me. Sadly, very few people are willing to talk to me long enough to cut through the awkward beginnings that occur more often than not. I am usually so eager to make someone like me that I blow it. I am too enthusiastic, too full of useless knowledge and idle pratter. I am a like a manic child begging for attention and approval. In short, I make a lousy first impression.
Only those people lucky enough to either catch me on an exceptionally good day or who give me a second chance come to discover the real me. The real me has personality flaws as well; painfully insecure, self depricating, controlling, and negative. Thankfully, my talent at intelligent and witty discourse overshadows these flaws while highlighting my special brand of knowledge and humor as well as my fierce and unerring loyalty. I am loyal to a fault. If you are lucky enough to earn my love and respect, you can rest assured that I am going to have your back until the bitter end.
For my real life friends this means that I am going to try my level best to support you and your decisions, not matter how much I might disagree with them. It means that I am not going to get mad at you over petty inconviences. You will never put me out because I will always be happy to help you. The only time you will find me angry with you is when you've done something that has caused you to be hurt or diminished in some way. I don't like to see my friends hurt, sad, or discouraged. I want to see all of them suceed because I love them and I want what is best for them. This does not mean I get angry at them when they fail - it means that I will be angry with them when they fail. I don't tend to fight with my friends because it seems both silly and futile. If you find yourself fighting with your friends over petty injustices, maybe you outta re-examine your definition of friendship.
With regard to celebrities, my fierce loyalty means that they get a pass when they blow it. Christian Slater can make scads of lousy direct to DVD movies and I will watch them all and love him uncondidtionally because I know that he's a great actor. If you don't believe me, watch He Was a Quiet Man. I promise, it will make you a believer. My loyalty means that Duran Duran can make a record with one good single in between a whole lot of dreck and I will buy it, and I will give them another chance. I will forgive their musical transgressions because I know that they have been and will once again be great. There aren't many celebrities that get this loyalty out of me. I used to think MCR could do no wrong, but Danger Days kind of killed it for me. That album convinced me that I never loved them - not really. If I had, I wouldn't have been so angry and disappointed with the album. I hear tell that they are even now working on a fifth album and I really could not care less.
There are a handful of people - a precious few - who have my fierce and un-erring loyalty. These are people who I love more than myself. They complete me in different ways. When they are not around I am less because of it. They are talented, multifaceted, beautiful people who I love withoug end. I am so lucky to have such people in my life. I give of my love and devotion freely because I am better having known them.
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