Winner's Circle

Dig my awesome winner's shirt. 

Merry Christmas!

Season's Greetings from Mojo Jojo and Uranium J! 

No, I'm Just Resting My Eyes!

I may or may not have drooled on the carpet. Don't judge me.

PicSpam!

Mojo Jojo is in town and we be eatin' seafood!

He ate the whole thing.

Not just a pizza. Yum, yum.

A Divas Christmas

Last night was the Fayetteville Divas Christmas Party at Roly Poly's and it was a blast. We has a great time Connecting, Empowering, and Growing with one another. The highlight of the evening was the Carolina Selfie Stand a service that was donated to the event free of charge. Everyone had a great time taking photos with all the silly props that were available. 

Here you can see that the leadership team even got in on the action. I have to say that I am so lucky to have this great group of ladies in my life right now. They do nothing but inspire me!

English Major Monday - Beowulf and Comitatus

Since my NaNoWriMo was heavily influenced by Beowulf and since I have nothing else to talk about today I am going to share a paper I wrote in college. Let me know what you think. I think it's worth discussing. This essay was originally posted in my other blog www.joyceannunderwood.com during NaNoWriMo.

Comitatus and “The Other” in Beowulf

            Medieval society was based on the concept of “comitatus” in which the liege lord was the “ring giver” or provider and his thanes who were his retainers. The liege lord fought for glory and the thanes fought to protect the liege lord. These relationships were tightly knit and the greatness of a leader was shown by the loyalty of his men. Often a leader’s greatness was such that he not only commanded the loyalty and respect of his own country men, but also that of men who were outsiders. We see evidence of this in Beowulf with the presence of outsiders who fight along side by side with the liege lord. The most famous of these outsiders is Beowulf’s thane, Wiglaf, who is by Beowulf’s side as he battles the dragon. Wiglaf can be read as a foil for Beowulf in that he is “the other” in Beowulf’s court as Beowulf had been “the other” in Hrothgar’s court. As “the other” they both perform the duties of a loyal thane in fighting for their lord, despite their foreign blood. The loyalty of these foreign ambassadors to the lords they come to serve shows not only the greatness of that leader, but also illustrates that an outsider, “the other”, to be more honorable than the leader’s own thanes in that they are able to uphold the comitatus where the native society cannot. The superiority of “the other” through their demonstration of comitatus shows fatal flaw of the culture and foreshadows that society’s eventual demise.

            Beowulf himself was “the other” among the Danes more than once. Although he is a faithful thane to Hugelac, Hrothgar states, “I knew him when he was only a boy;” showing that Beowulf had been in Heorot to which he later returns in order to slay Grendel (Chickering, line 372). Beowulf’s presence and eagerness to assist Hrothgar in disposing of his monster is evidence that Hrothgar is an exceptional lord. As Beowulf and his retainers are led to Heorot which has been plagued by Grendel for the past twelve years, we see “the road was stone paved,” showing that the basic infrastructure within the Danish society seems to be in full working order (line 319). Despite their pesky monster infestation, everything seems to be business as usual. The fact that Heorot still stands is yet another testament to Hrothgar’s greatness, Grendel can keep the Danes from using it, but he does not dare destroy it. This implies an individual issue within the Danes, not a societal problem.

            As the center of all life within the society, the mead hall is representative of civilization itself. The fact that Grendel does not destroy it completely, as the dragon later destroys Beowulf’s mead hall shows that the Danes are not yet a doomed society. However, “he could not come near the gift-throne, the treasure / because of God- he knew not his love;” he who sits in the throne was blessed also and thus safe from Grendel’s claws (lines 168-169). While Hrothgar, his throne, and his mead hall were safe physically, the blight of Grendel brought shame to all three. Thus, the presence of Beowulf serves to merely solve the individual issue: Grendel. After all, “at that time none of the princely shieldings betrayed each other” alluding that the time will come when the society falls due to betrayal and the failure of the comitatus (lines 1018-1019). Unferth displays this possibility in his willingness to question Beowulf’s ability to slay Grendel to which Beowulf cleverly replies:

“I’ll tell you a truth,     son of Ecglaf

Never would Grendel     have done so much harm,

The awesome monster     against your own leader,

Shameful in Heorot,     if heart and intention,

Your great battle-spirit,     were sharp as your words.

But he has discovered     he need not dread

Too great a feud,     fierce rush of swords,

Not from your people,     the ‘Victory-Scyldings.’” (lines 590-598)

The shaming of their leader should have incited each and every Dane to make an attempt at slaying Grendel or die trying. Instead, they let him wreak havoc on Heorot night after night, and in so doing, allow him to continue to shame Hrothgar. It is only an outsider who is willing to step up to the challenge of disposing of the brute, thus calling the loyalty of Hrothgar’s own thanes into question.

            Because Beowulf successfully eliminates Grendel, Hrothgar proclaims, “I will love you like a son, cherish you for life,” and in feast seats him accordingly (lines 947-948). This extreme move on the part of Hrothgar alludes to the relationship that is present later in the poem between Beowulf and Wiglaf, another outsider who becomes more loyal to his leader than the leader’s own countrymen. Although this impromptu adoption may be viewed as a slight to Hrothgar’s own biological sons, I argue that he is sending out a message of disappointment to his thanes. Hrothgar goes on to state “Often for less I have given treasures, honorable gifts to lesser warriors, poorer at battle,” further illustrating his displeasure with his own thanes in an understated way (lines 951-953). Had one of them had the strength, courage, and intellect to destroy Grendel, they too might have been regarded as Hrothgar’s own. However, not one of them was willing to actually step up to the task despite their many drunken boasts. Therefore, the privilege of being regarded as the son of the king has been bestowed on he who is worthy: an outsider. This also foreshadows the fall of the Danes when attempts at peace weaving fail. Betrayal will be the undoing of the Danes, as cowardice will be with the Geats.

We are later able to see the Danes as a foil for the Geats and Hrothgar as a foil for Beowulf. This comparison is played out in the second half of the poem when we see Beowulf as an aged king. He ruled “this people for fifty winters, and there was no ruler of surrounding nations, not any, who dared meet [Beowulf] with armies,” then lo and behold, there came a monster: a dragon (lines 2732-2734). Although similar to Grendel, the dragon is indicative of a societal problem. Grendel merely haunted Hrothgar’s mead hall; the dragon completely obliterated Beowulf’s mead hall. The dragon took no prisoners; it came, it saw, it burned the place to the ground and as a result, Beowulf is left feeling impotent, much like Hrothgar had when faced with Grendel. These differences lie in that Grendel had been the unnatural “kinsmen of Cain” while the dragon is a seemingly unstoppable force of nature (line 104). The mere fact that we are talking about this monster in terms of “it” rather than “he” or “she” as had been the case with the other two monsters, shows the inherent difference present in the dragon as a threat. Grendel and his mother had been more of an individual problem, killing individuals and keeping them out of the mead hall. Meanwhile, the dragon not only burned down Beowulf’s mead hall which decimated the society, it also ended Beowulf’s life.

            This difference in aggression on the part of the dragon illustrates why “the other” proves to be more honorable and faithful to the liege lord than the lord’s own countrymen. The dragon destroys the mead hall, which is the center of all life in the society, and thus the society is irreparably damaged. This damage has been a long time coming; betrayal of the comitatus doesn’t happen over night. The peace that was with the Geats may have actually proved to be their undoing. It is easy to boast bravery in the mead hall when you have never had an opportunity to be truly brave. As Beowulf battles the dragon it is Wiglaf who calls to the Geats to defend their lord, crying out: “Now sword and helmet, / mail-shirt, war gear, must be ours together,” as he rushed in to defend his lord (lines 2650-2660). These Geats had most likely never seen hard battle before, much less a fifty foot fire breathing fiend. They failed to uphold the comitatus because they had never been called to do so before. Happily, they consumed Beowulf’s mead and enjoyed his gifts of fine armor and rings, but when they were called upon to repay his kindness “too few defenders / pressed round the king when his worst time came” (lines 2882-2883). Only Wiglaf stands by Beowulf in his final moments of need; a foreigner, he is the one to uphold the comitatus fighting for his lord as his lord fights for not only glory, but for revenge and the survival of his people.

            The irony here, as Wiglaf points out, is that the Geats hadn’t been worth Beowulf’s death in the first place. Their cowardice brought shame to themselves as individuals, to their families, and to the Geats as a nation. They had been blessed with the finest ring giver to have ever lived, and they left him to die when it was their duty to die either for him or with him. A good thane fights to the death for his lord; Beowulf’s thanes leave him to die alone. This betrayal is cause for exile. “Death is better / for any warrior than a shameful life!” is Wiglaf’s proclamation as calls out the fate they have sustained through their cowardice (lines 2890-2891). Beowulf’s death sees Wiglaf as the new leader of the Geats by virtue of his honor, and thus we see the eventual dissolution of the Geatish nation. They are led by “the other” and thus their claim to sovereignty as a nation is lost. It is only a matter of time before some other nation comes and incinerates what is left of their culture, just as the dragon incinerated their mead hall. The only honor present is that of Wiglaf, who is seemingly left to restore order but does not.  Rather, he leaves the Geats to the fate which they have brought upon themselves. Their shame and dishonor is the death of the Geatish society as “deprived of their rites each man of [their] families will have to be exiled” (lines 2886-2887).

Friday Free For All! - HIV Here & Now

World AIDS Day fell on the same day as the end of NaNaWriMo (as it always does) and since for the first time ever I actually won I chose to bask in the glory of winning on my blog instead of writing about the fight to stop AIDS. Rest assured, I did spam the hell out of Facebook with pertinent AIDS Day related content as well as changing my profile picture and banner.

Not that any of that really matters but it made me feel like I was doing my part to ACT UP and FIGHT AIDS.

Earlier this year, I participated in another project that is much bigger and more worthwhile than my tiny yearly Facebook campaign. It's called the HIV Here & Now Poem-a-Day Countdown to 35 Years of AIDS on June 5, 2016. I submitted two poems to the project back in September which were published on the site and which I hope will also be published in the anthology that is forthcoming. You can read those poems here: September 15, 2015

If you or anyone you know is a poet, I highly encourage you to submit a poem to this project. They are always looking for poets and the organizer, Michael Broder, is a joy to work with. I promise you, if you are at all passionate about HIV/AIDS you should look at the poems on HIV Here & Now. You won't be disappointed.

The Four Women Who Inspire Me The Most

I saw this list on Peanut Butter Fingers' blog and I thought "Who are the four women who inspire me the most?". This question is more difficult for me than it might seem as I have way more male friends, heroes, and  people I talk to on a regular basis. I am a recovering female misogynist. I am older now, and realize what a stupid worldview that was to have in the first place. In the interest of furthering my recovery, I now give you

The Four Women Who Most Inspire Uranium J

(dunh! dunh! dunh!)

• Captain Tesla

The things we did for student transitions.
Source

This girl is so talented it makes my head hurt. For her Undergraduate studies, she majored in Physics and got a minor in Philosophy. As an undergrad, she taught classes, worked her way up to a major leadership role in Student Transitions, presented research at a conference, all while (in my humble opinion) dressing like a rock star. As a grad student in the computer science department she was teaching physics to undergrads and doing all the normal grad school stuff, while preparing for some big ballet event. Presently, she's a PhD candidate in Physics. Yes, she's brilliant, she's beautiful, and she does point. She also has the most impeccable manners I have ever seen on someone in my generation. The grace and poise with which she conducts herself everyday has always impressed me and caused me to wonder if she went to finishing school and just didn't tell anyone. Her tastes in things that you buy at a Barnes and Noble are very similar to mine, something I appreciate since so few people understand my tastes. Did I mention she can drive a stick shift and play the piano? Or that she is very well versed on classical music? I could go on and on. This woman never ceases to blow my mind and I love it.

• Merlisser

And she can grill! Source

I don't talk about Merlisser on here very often because she lives on the other side of the freaking country and is super busy with her husband and kid and the life they are trying to make for themselves in the Northwest. But I am usually in awe of her. She is one of the strongest and most positive people I know. I'm sure that she doesn't see it that way, but I promise you, it's true. Her random sense of humor and her perky personality never cease to make me smile, even when I really don't want to. I know that I am better having known her. She challenged me when I needed it, encouraged me when I was down and out, and never let me feel sorry for myself. I swear to you, she's a little Asian Ruby Gloom! She always looks on the bright side of the dark side. She has no problem going out of her comfort zone - a trait I envy. She moved COMPLETELY across the country for love. She took up sailing in college. She is a phenomenal artist. She knows how to keep cookies fresh. She is so full of life and love, compassion and creativity; and I sometimes hope that when I grow up, I can be a little bit like her. 

• My Mom

Oh boy! A toothbrush! 

I sometimes think it's obligatory to add one's mother to these types of lists, but I was thinking about it today, and I really am inspired by my mom. Her life has never been easy, but she always tried to do her best by me and my sister. My grandmother died when my mom was five years old, so for most of her childhood she was motherless. She was also the only female in the household. This was a lousy situation, but I think she made the best of it. She held her own with her two older brothers and went on to work most of her life in fields dominated by men. Before she met my dad, she worked in a furniture factory and assembled sonobuoys. After I was born, she went to work full time with my dad as a handy"man". Learned plumbing, electrical, HVAC, and how to work on washers, dryers, and refrigerators. When my dad died, she was suddenly a single parent, and while it was hard, she made sure that money was never an issue when it came to the things that were really important. I had food, clothes, a car when I was 16, school trips, and more CDs than a teenager really has a right to. She fought and worked hard her entire life. I'm soft. If pushed, I doubt I could do half the things my mom has done, and while that humbles me to no end.

• The Woman That Sprout Will Someday Become

That Sprout with Captain Tesla. Source

How's that for a sickly sweet abstract concept? It's true though, and here's why: Everything I do now is shaping who she will become, so I kind of have to be on my toes. While I am not in love with parenting, I totally love my child, and I want to see her become someone truly awesome. I might look like I don't care, but that's because I don't want to hover. I don't rush over immediately when she falls. I want her to be strong, fearless, brave, smart, funny, and a top notch problem solver. You know, all those things I'm not. I also want her to be an accepting and tolerant woman who has her own unique personality, her own likes and dislikes, and enough integrity and intestinal fortitude to think for herself and nevermind the bollocks. Kind of like me, but so much better. In order for her to end up this woman that I hope she becomes, I have to start acting like that woman now. That woman inspires me to be the best I can be everyday. I struggle and I strive and I hope that by the time she actually starts to become a woman, I'll be her mirror. Reflect what you are, in case you don't know. 

Yes, I know that last one was kind of a cop out, but I couldn't think of a fourth. Lesson? I need to have more amazing and awe inspiring women in my life. I'm taking applications . . . 

Pear Harbour Day

What I know about Pearl Harbor Day because of my dad, who was in WWII. There's an interesting story for you. My dad was part of the Mighty 8th Air Force. I know I've mentioned this before, but I'll tell you all again because that was years ago when I still lived in Savannah. 

My dad who was born in 1920, was a crew chief stationed in England during WWII and growing up I heard a great many stories about the war. Mostly about how his Commanding Officer was rather useless and my dad more or less took command. I have no idea how true this was since my dad as far as I know was no more than a lowly Private First Class. Maybe he made rank? I've never had a look at his discharge papers and probably wouldn't know what I was looking at if I did.\

My dad made sure to let me know all the important dates when they rolled around on the calendar - Jewish holidays and American remembrance days. I never missed a Yom Kippur or a Pearl Harbor Day. What was strange about the former was the fact that we were not Jewish. I always assumed that fighting for the liberation of the Jews had an effect on him.

Were he alive, my dad would have just turned 95. Vera Lynn is 98 years old this Pearl Harbor Day and the only reason I even know who she is in the first place is because of Pink Floyd. My dad never talked about her. The only reason I know a lot of things is because of pop music, but I feel that's a discussion for another time when I have more time and attention to give to the matter. Until then, here's a pretty lady and a pretty song

Vera Lynn (Source)

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

Remember how she said that

We would meet again

Some sunny day?

Vera! Vera! 

What has become of you?

Does anybody else in here 

Feel the way I do?

Kool Aid Pie

Today would have been my dad's 95th birthday, so in celebration I give you a story I wrote about something he loved:

Kool Aid Pie. It sounds so simple, and yet it’s not. It’s a long, complicated process. There’s only four ingredients:

2/3 cup sugar, 1 can evaporated milk, 1 packet of Kool Aid, and 1 graham cracker crust.

Simple right? But it was never simple. First of all, there was never any Kool Aid to be found. We were relegated to Flav-or-Aid, drink of choice for those who wish to commit mass suicide. While they were partial to grape Flav-or-Aid, I had a choice between lemon lime and orange. I don’t know how they did it, but my parents would buy it in variety packs, yet we only ever had the green or the orange. It was uncanny. My first Kool Aid Pie was orange.

Next came the evaporated milk – which was nothing more than a waiting game. You open up the can, pour it into a bowl, stick it into the freezer, and wait. As a little kid, “wait” means what happens between commercial breaks, but it takes longer than that to “partially freeze”, and every time you open the freezer to check on it, you let the cold out and prolong the process further. Eventually, you grow frustrated with the whole process and forget about it. After an hour or so, you remember, and rush to the freezer to find your milk completely iced over on top. A little longer and you would have had to start all over again, but as it is, the milk is perfect for working.

You take your bowl over to the counter, plug in the ancient green blender that only has one speed because your mom loaned it out once in the seventies to someone who decided they would use it to make cookie dough with and burnt up the speed control. You start to whip your semi-frozen evaporated milk until it turns into white foam. Then, you slowly add the sugar. Slowly. That was always hard for me. I am not a patient person; I always wanted to dump it all in at once. You can’t though, it’ll pull all the air out and make your pie hard. I learned this the hard way.

Once all the sugar is added, and you have what is referred to in cooking as “soft, white peaks”, you add in your Flav-or-Aid packet until it is completely distributed. Then, you pour it all into a pie shell and freeze it. When the time arrives for dessert, you will have a frozen pie that when sliced, is soft and creamy.

I made a “Kool-Aid” pie every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas and every year, my dad was the only one who ate it.

I could have made this very one. Source

NaNoWriMo Wrap Party!!!

I did it!

I am now going to go bask in the glory of my awesomeness. Expect precious few posts until after the new year. I am tired. Proud, but tired.